I’m hesitant to suggest anything as I don’t know if it’s my place to edit your work, but i think you could combine the action in page 7, panels 1 & 2 and also panels 4 & 5. Then in the “new” panel 4 you combine panels 1, 2, and 3 and keep panels 4 & 5.
All of this is of course predicated on the fact that I don’t know exactly how you have it visualised and it’s certainly possible that the action is needed to be done as you have written.
I think the camera directions might be throwing me off as I am not sure I like them, personally.
So to run this process to its logical conclusion, I would say something like;
Panel 1 Exterior - street
KATO and HORNET exit the vehicle. There are some Ne’er-do-well YOUTHS lounging on the grass across the street.
Panel 2 Exterior - street
HORNET leans against the car, glaring at the youths as behind him, Kato approaches the warehouse.
Panel 3 Interior - Warehouse
KATO assumes a fighting stance in the doorway of the warehouse, silhouetted against the bright light of day outside.
DON GLIST (V.O.) dialogue
Panel 4 exterior -street
the HORNET, now in the middle of the street, glares at the hoodlums on the grass. They have their phones out and are snapping photos, pointing and laughing.
Panel 5 HORNET VISION!
Note; everything is now green, since we are in Hornet Time.
HORNET snaps the phone out of one of the youth’s hand.
Panel 6 HORNET VISION
as the kid bends over to pick up his phone, HORNET boots him right in the tuchus.
I’m not saying it’s any better per se, but just to give a visual on what I was talking about earlier. This is just a single pass-through, so there are probably typos in there