"Fear himself"by Enders0284
First and foremost, I like how you flipped the script. You used a villian and inverted his character traits. I wish I had thought of it first.
That said, I had to change the criteria I used to evaluate this story. I’m assuming it isn’t suppose to be funny? It works as a dramatic piece. It’s also an engaging character study. (Or is this another instance of me not understanding the work?)
Maybe the humor lies in how…uncomplicated Sinistero’s dialouge is? He’s literally saying everything he’s thinking…laying out his motivations, inner feelings…He reminded me of 70s Incredible Hulk. I don’t mean in terms of intelligence. I mean in terms of emotional honesty/innability to lie. This guy is an open book. It’s usual…but is it part of the inversion? Being cowardly/being overally truthful aren’t mutually exclusive…quite the opposite in fact.
Then there’s a loss of control over one’s origin story…that’s a funny concept. The ambivilance Sinistero shows to all that power is interesting. You’ve come up with good ideas ,and you are well-versed in GL lore…but this script still confuses me. Mostly, I’m trying to say that authorial intent is a mystery to me. I’m a little bit lost.
The panel descriptions were short. You used concise words. I am envious of that. My efforts get overly wordy. Typically two pages of descriptions, dialouge, and caps for every one comic page.
Page 3/panels 3 and 4 are wordless, action orinted panels. Comics are suppose to be a balance of imagery and text. You know exactly when to let something breathe, and I’m still learning this. You executed it perfectly.
My final nitpick: you are a shotcaller. So am I. (Perhaps to my detriment!) I try to follow the different shots laid out in film scripts. I know that there is a no universal standard, but I want to cut down on confusion as much as possible. Phrases like “Eye level shot” (page 1/panels 2, 4) are confusing. I THINK it is a POV shot. I jotted a few of the shots down. Please correct me if I get them wrong.
“Top down shot” (page 1/panel 1) is a high angle shot. Shot from above.
“A middle shot” (pg 5/panel 2) is a medium shot. Character fills the frame and cut off, say, abdomin or crotch level.
"A middle-distant shot "(page 3/panel 5). I don’t know this one. Medium shot+long shot? How is this different from a middle shot?
“Side shot” (page 2/panel 2) the character is shot in profile.
“Distant side shot” (pg 6/panel 1) is a character in profile, in a long shot. Seen from a good distance away.
A"mid distant back shot" (pg 7/panel 1) this character is being shot from behind. In a medium shot.
I feel bad nitpicking. Again, no universal standard, AND I feel like I know what you’re driving at…but at the same time, there’s a lot of stopping and translating on my end. Clarity above all else, right?
All in all, it’s a good script. I am confused by some story choices and some technical stuff…but you definitly have a knack for it. I hope to see your work in the next write off. Thanks for submitting.