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Write Off 6: Origin of Spider-Man - Pick a winner


#1

The voting begins!

Winner gets to pick the next topic. I’ll be more than happy to host the next one, too.

  • “The Amazing Arachno in With Great Power Comes Great Radioactivity”
  • “True Story”
  • “Secret Origin”
  • “Mr. Fish”
  • “The Awe-Inspiring Spider-Man”
  • “Sting”
  • “Exhibition”
  • “Time of Your Life”
  • “Man or Menace?”

0 voters


#2

Origin of Spider-Man: “The Amazing Arachno in With Great Power Comes Great Radioactivity”
Writer: Shawn Milazzo (@Shawnmilazzo)

Comic Page #1
(3 Panels)

Panel 1: This whole comic is from the 1960’s era. An establishing shot of the Parker’s residence. It is early morning, before Peter (15) has to go to school.

Caption: Queens, New York City

Panel 2: Barely awake, Peter Parker enters the kitchen of his Aunt and Uncle’s, rubbing his eyes. He is still wearing pajamas. Aunt May stands before the oven making breakfast. Uncle Ben is holding a half-eaten piece of toast with jelly on it. He smiles as Peter enters the scene. Ben is wearing an Oscorp Atomics science/work jacket. His I.D. picture & name card is clipped underneath the embroidery of the company.

Aunt May joking: I’m glad you finally decided to grace us with your presence, Peter.

Peter: Morning.

Uncle Ben: Good morning!

Panel 3: Peter is sitting down at the breakfast table. Ben gives Peter a playful noogie as he talks to him.

Uncle Ben #1: You excited for the field trip today, son?

Peter sarcastic/under breath: Thrilled.

Uncle Ben #2: Hey, maybe I’ll see you kids there.

Comic Page #2
(4 Panels)

Panel 1: Aunt May sets Peter’s breakfast down onto the table.

Aunt May #1: Oh Peter, you’re going to be late.

Peter #1: Don’t worry, Aunt May… I’m getting a ride to school today.

Aunt May #2: From whom, Harry?

Peter #2: Please, he’s probably taking the helicopter.

Panel 2: Uncle Ben leans into the panel kissing May on the cheek.

SFX from cheek kiss: Smooch

Uncle Ben: I’ve gotta run.

Panel 3: Uncle Ben leaves out the side kitchen door to the outside. He raises his finger in the air as he talks.

Uncle Ben: I’ll see you around, kiddo. Remember, with great power comes great radioactivity!

Aunt May: Bye, Honey.

Peter: Later, Uncle Ben.

Panel 4: Peter begins to eat as he talks to May.

Peter: I’m hitchin’ a ride with a senior. His name is Skip Westcott.

Aunt May: Oh? Well you be careful with those seniors, honey. Wouldn’t want them to corrupt you.

Comic Page #3
(6 Panels)

Panel 1: Aerial establishing shot of the field trip buses lined up at Peter’s high school. We see the kids get on the buses, lack of detail.

Caption: Later that day

Panel 2: Harry Osborn is sitting in a bus seat with his knees up, against the back of the seat in front of him. Peter stands above him in the bus walkway, talking.

Peter joking around: Mind if I sit with you, Harry?

Harry: No prob, man. Take a seat.

Panel 3: Before Peter sits down, Flash Thompson pushes Peter out of the way from behind. Flash’s cronies laugh.

Flash: Get out of the way, nerd.

SFX from push: Shove

Panel 4: Peter, still standing, looks embarrassed in front of his friend Harry.

Harry: Don’t mind those guys, Pete.

Panel 5: Peter sits down next to Harry.

Peter: I really appreciate you taking the bus with us common-folk, Harry.

Harry: No sweat, I wouldn’t miss it for the world.

Panel 6: A close-up shot of Harry smiling at Peter.

Harry: You’re my best friend Peter, never forget that.

Comic Page #4
(6 Panels)

Panel 1: A P.O.V perspective from Peter Parker’s eyes. He see’s Gwen Stacy as she steps onto the bus. She is wearing nerdy glasses. Even though she’s dressed nerdy, her body is smoking hot.

Caption from Peter: There she is….

Panel 2: A panel much like before. Gwen Stacy throws her hair over her shoulder.

Caption from Peter #1: …Gwen Stacy.

Panel 3: A panel much like before. Gwen Stacy continues walking onto the bus as if she is somehow seductively speaking to Peter Parker without words.

Caption from Peter #2: The girl of my dreams.

Panel 4: A close-up shot of Gwen’s breasts.

No Copy

Panel 5: A close-up shot of Gwen’s face, towering over the reader. She is winking and smiling.

No Copy

Panel 6: Gwen Stacy walks past Peter and Harry’s seat on the bus. The focal point is Gwen’s hour glass back-side. Peter Parker nervously tries to not pay any attention, but we know what he’s looking at. Harry grins at Peter.

SFX from Peter: Gulp.

Comic Page #5
(5 Panels)

Panel 1: An establishing shot of Oscorp Atomics nuclear facility. The field trip has already begun and the children are taking the tour. On this page, we see the radioactive spider dropping from its webbing all the way down to when it bites Peter on the back of his shoulder in the final panel, in between the spacing of the panels.

Caption #1: Later

Caption #2: Oscorp Atomics

Panel 2: Dr. Brian Banner talks with the students. All of the children are wearing name tags. We only know that it is Brian Banner by the similar name tag that Uncle Ben had. Flash Thompson is yawning. If there’s enough room, facility workers can be moving around, working in the background. All of the students look bored besides Peter and Gwen. Peter excitedly raises his hand.

Brian Banner #1: And here you can see Oscorp’s biggest nuclear reactor. Heat from the nuclear fission is passed to water, which runs through steam turbines…

Brian Banner in reaction to Peter’s hand #2: Questions?

Panel 3: The kids look at Peter like, why are you asking questions, and prolonging this boring experience, besides Harry and Gwen. Brian Banner looks to be under some stress.

Peter: Dr. Banner, why use H20 as a liquid when you could use it as a gas? Would the effects be the same?

Brian Banner #1: That’s a good question, Peter. But I’ll have to get back to that in a moment. I have to go use the restroom.

Brian Banner #2: You kids, just stay right here until I’m back. It will only be few minutes.

Panel 4: Peter and Harry look at each other as they talk. Everyone seems to be unaware that the radioactive spider is about to drop on Peter Parker’s shoulder.

Harry #1: What a weird time to go to the bathroom.

Peter: Yeah, you would think you would do all of your business prior to the tour.

Harry #2: You gotta go, when you gotta go, I guess.

Panel 5: A close-up shot of the spider biting Peter Parker.

No Copy

Comic Page #6
(7 Panels)

Panel 1: A close-up shot of Peter’s blood cells being attacked by the radioactive venom.

No Copy

Panel 2: Peter smacks his shoulder from the spider bite. He’s the only one who witnesses the spider.

Peter: Ah!

Panel 3: A close-up shot of Peter’s blood cells being attacked by the radioactive venom more.

No Copy

Panel 4: Dr. Brian Banner throws open the restroom door.

SFX from door opening: Fwoosh

Panel 5: Harry talks to Peter.

Harry: Everything ok, man?

Peter: Yeah, I think I was just bit by a spider.

Panel 6: A close-up shot of Banner pulling a flask out of his work jacket.

No Copy

Panel 7: A close-up side shot of Banner drinking from the flask. In this panel, we see up to his nose to the bottom of his lips.

Caption from Brian Banner: T-T-These kids have no idea how dangerous nuclear energy is… The way it c-c-changes you. A school field trip of all things!

Comic Page #7
(4 Panels)

Panel 1: We see the side of Oscorp’s wall explode, causing debris and facility workers to fly everywhere, inside the building.

SFX from wall explosion: BOOOM!

Panel 2: Harry Osborn and Peter Parker duck and shield themselves from the aftermath of the wall exploding. Through the chaos, Peter looks somewhat sick, reacting to the radioactive spider bite. We see students fleeing in fear from the carnage in the background. Oscorp’s sirens wail, trailing across the panel.

SFX from Sirens: WAAAAWAAAAAWAAAA

Harry: Duck Peter!

Panel 3: A close-up shot of the radioactive spider venom fusing to Parker’s DNA.

No Copy

Panel 4: We see Electro, with a costume never seen before, that has low-tech stolen Stark technology attached to it, flying into the hole in Oscorp’s wall. He has his hands raised similar to what Magneto looks like flying in the X-Men movies. Electrical bolts flow around his body. Tiny bolts surround him, placed here and there.

Electro: I’m here for the energy, my name is Electro!

SFX from Sirens: WAAAAWAAAAWAAAA

Comic Page #8
(3 Panels)

Panel 1: Electro flies over to the reactor, looking down at the field trip students. Oscorp workers flee in the background. We see Uncle Ben running towards the children on a reactor bridge, above them.

Electro: Looks like you kids came to the wrong place at the wrong time!

SFX from Sirens: WAAAAWAAAAWAAAA

Panel 2: Harry Osborn tries to get Peter Parker to escape with him.

Harry: Come on Peter, we’ve got to get out of here!

Peter yelling: I can’t leave yet, I’ve got to find my Uncle first.

SFX from Sirens: WAAAAWAAAAWAAAA

Panel 3: Electro collects the energy from the reactor.

SFX from Sirens: WAAAAWAAAAWAAAA

Electro: HAHAHAHAHHA!

Comic Page #9
(6 Panels)

Panel 1: Peter Parker spots his uncle on the reactor bridge.

Peter Parker: Oh no, Uncle Ben, get out of here!

SFX from Sirens: WAAAAWAAAAWAAAA

Panel 2: Electro continues collecting energy from the reactor.

Electro: Yes, the energy! I can feel its power!

SFX from Sirens: WAAAAWAAAAWAAAA

Panel 3: A close-up shot of the emergency sirens shattering.

SFX from Sirens: WUUUUHHWWMMM

Panel 4: Uncle Ben yells to the kids.

Uncle Ben: Peter!

Panel 5: The ceiling inside Oscorp Atomics begins to crack above Electro and the kids.

No Copy

Panel 6: Electro zaps Ben Parker with his electricity powers. We can see the skeletal structure of Ben like an x-ray as he is hit.

Electro: Time to test this newfound power, courtesy of Oscorp Atomics.

Uncle Ben: GAH!

Comic Page #9
(5 Panels)

Panel 1: Peter Parker falls to his knees, crying, reaching out to his uncle. Harry tries to get Peter to stand up.

Peter: Uncle Ben!

Panel 2: The roof caves in.

No Copy

Panel 3: Kids are running past Gwen Stacy as she stands there, frozen in fear.

No Copy

Panel 4: Peter runs to his uncle’s burnt body as it falls from the reactor bridge.

Peter: No No No.

Panel 5: The roof falls onto Gwen Stacy. She is raising her hands.

Gwen: Ahh!

Comic Page #10
(4 Panels)

Panel 1: A close-up of Oscorp Atomics security team’s military boots running towards the conflict.

Caption from Narrator: Will Oscorp Atomics Security Team be able to stop Electro’s shocking rampage?

Panel 2: A close-up shot of the spider biting Peter Parker.

Caption from Narrator: What effects will the radioactive arachnid have on Peter Parker?

Panel 3: A shot of the rubble that is on top of Gwen Stacy.

Caption from Narrator #1: Is Gwen Stacy deceased?

Panel 4: Peter Parker is kneeling down, holding his uncle Ben’s burnt corpse.

Caption from Narrator #1: How will our science student handle his uncle’s death?

Caption from Narrator #2: Find out, it the next issue of Amazing Fantasy!

Caption #3: TO BE CONTINUED.

@Shawnmilazzo


#3

Origin of Spider-Man: “True Story”
Writer: John Henning (@BeingHenning)

PAGE <01>

PANEL <01>
Two BOYS (HECTOR and JAMES) and one GIRL (JING) are walking down an empty street at night. They are eighth graders and about the age that Hector and James notice Jing is a girl. This is not a residential street. It lies between large dark silhouettes of abandoned factories and warehouses with only a few street lamps and security lights waging a losing battle against the darkness. Fortunately for the three kids, the sky is overcast so the reflected light from the still thriving parts of the city gives them enough to see where they are going. Though why they are there is a mystery.

CAPTION 01: THE BRONX 9:00 PM - A SCHOOL NIGHT

HECTOR: A were-spider? Seriously, you get hit in the head?

JAMES: Nah, man, my cousin Rick tol’ me, fer real. Like a radioactive spider or something.

JING (quiet): Radiation gives you cancer. Not superpowers.

PANEL <02>
HECTOR shows JAMES and JING the screen of his smartphone.

HECTOR: Dude, the were-spider theory got debuked like a month ago.

JING: You mean “debunked.”

HECTOR (quietly to Jing): What I said?

HECTOR (to James): You believe a spider-bite can turn a man into something like that?

JING (to herself): You said “debuked.”

PANEL <03>
Close on the smartphone. It has an image of “The Spider Man” - it’s an obviously photoshopped image of a skeletal creature with an elongated human torso, eight long humanoid limbs acting as its arms and legs and a face with six eyes and tarantula mandibles for a mouth. Long strings of saliva or venom stream from the tips of their sharp fangs.

JING (off-panel): What’s that?

HECTOR (off-panel): It’s the only confirmed close-up of the Spider-Man.

JING (off-panel): Gross!

JAMES (off-panel): What about all those pictures in the Bugle?

PANEL <04>
Medium shot of Hector with Jing in the foreground.

HECTOR: That’s obviously some guy in a cheat suit! Fake news, man, fake news.

HECTOR: This is from a website collecting all known information about the Spider-Man. It’s verified, yo!

JAMES (off-panel): Whatever, man…

PAGE <02>

PANEL <01>
Two shot of James and Jing.

JAMES: I didn’t say I believed it. It’s just what my cousin tol’ me.

JING: What do you think it is?

JAMES: It’s simple…

PANEL <02>
Close on James.

JAMES: Gotta be a alien.

HECTOR (off-panel): Ah, come on!

PANEL <03>
James glares at Hector.

JAMES: What? Has that been debuked, too? What’s your cheap little phone says it is?

JING (quietly): sigh “Debunked.”

PANEL <04>
Hector looks seriously at both of his friends.

HECTOR: You really want to know?

PANEL <05>
James and Jing look uncertain.

JAMES: Yeah…

JING (quiet): …Not really…

PAGE <03>

PANEL <01>
Hector smiles and takes his friend’s uncertainty for consent.

HECTOR: All right, listen to this. Around twenty years ago –

JAMES: Hold on, man, people only been seeing it for like a year max.

HECTOR: I know! Let me finish, okay?

PANEL <02>
Hector’s face is in the corner, but the rest of the panel is a tropical jungle. A young TODDLER is crawling from a field into the trees of the forest.

HECTOR: Twenty years ago, this rich family was on vacation on some tropical island in the South Pacific like. Before anybody notices, their son – he’s like two – goes wandering off into the jungle.

PANEL <03>
The toddler stands in front of a large stone covered with vegetation. A giant SPIDER stands atop the stone and looks down at the boy. Other large SPIDERS, but smaller than the one on the stone, surround the boy. James’ and Jing’s faces are in the upper corner of the panel.

HECTOR: They search for weeks, but no one finds a trace of the kid. The locals say he was probably eaten by these giant spiders legend says live in the jungle.

JAMES: Giant spiders? Are you stoned?

JING: Shush!

PANEL <04>
In the jungle, a team of EXPLORERS are surprised by a boy dangling from a tree limb like a spider. He’s covered in white webs like some kind of net body stocking. Jing’s wide-eyed face is in the upper corner.

HECTOR: Shut up, man! It’s on the internet. This stuff is researched!

HECTOR: Anyway, like years later, this team of geologists are looking for gold or oil or something and they find the kid. Only, he acts like he’s a spider He can even make webs with like bodily fluids or something.

JING: Gross, man! Seriously? Gag!

PANEL <05>
Back in the Bronx, Hector’s holding the phone under his face to give him the “creepyvision” look.

HECTOR: The explorers bring the boy home and give him back to his parents right there on Park Avenue. Everybody’s happy.

JING (quiet): That’s the end of the story, right? Nothing bad…happens?

HECTOR: Do you really want to know?

JING: …not really…

JAMES: What happened?

PAGE <04>

PANEL <01>
Hector’s low-lit face in the corner as a man wakes up in bed.

HECTOR: The first night he’s back, the boy’s father wakes up. His wife is gone, and he hears this loud noise. Like water rushing down a drain. This loud sucking sound. He follows it to the boy’s bedroom.

PANEL <02>
Close on the man’s screaming face wide with terror.

HECTOR: What he found there put him in an insane asylum.

PANEL <03>
Both James and Jing look a little sick with dread.

JAMES: What did he see?

PANEL <04>
Close on Hector.

HECTOR: His wife’s body, wrapped tight in sticky webbing…completely drained of blood. Shriveled up like a dead fly!

HECTOR: Spiders eat their mothers, y’know.

JING (off-panel): Where was the boy?

PANEL <05>
Two shot of James and Jing.

HECTOR (off-panel): No one knows. The window was open and they lived on the 64th floor. He was never seen again.

PANEL <06>
Close on Hector as he holds up the creepy picture of the “Spider-Man” on his phone.

HECTOR: That is, until a few months ago.

PAGE <05>

PANEL <01>
Wide shot of the three kids as they stand beside a large roll up door to an abandoned warehouse.

JAMES: You’re trippin’ Hector!

HECTOR: Google it, dude.

JING: James, I wanna go home.

PANEL <02>
Closer on the three kids.

HECTOR: Man, come on, we’re here already.

JAMES: Don’t let him get to you, Jing. He’s just trying to creep you out.

JING: Good job. It worked!

PANEL <03>
Hector puts his hand on Jing’s arm.

HECTOR: I’m sorry, Jing. I made it all up.

JING: Really?

HECTOR: Look, you’ll feel better once we’re inside.

JAMES (under his breath): …the scary abandoned building…yeah…

PANEL <04>
Jing punches Hector in the arm.

JING: Jerk!

HECTOR: Ouch!
JAMES: You deserved that, fool!

PAGE <06>

PANEL <01>
Moments later, they are inside the abandoned warehouse. Hector stands a few yards inside while James helps Jing through a bend at the bottom of the door just big enough for the kids to squeeze through.

HECTOR: Okay, hit me with the light.

PANEL <02>
Shot of a phone video as James records Hector.

HECTOR: Welcome, YouTube, to another episode of Raiders of the Lost Bronx!

PANEL <03>
As Hector continues with his narration, Jing stands behind James, who’s taping him, and looks up.

HECTOR (off-panel): We’re in the old Oscorp research center which mysteriously closed six months ago after what police reported as a toxic gas leak. What really happened here remains a mystery…

JING: Uh…guys?

PANEL <04>
Close on Hector, perturbed. In the foreground, Jing’s hand points above Hector’s head.

HECTOR: Cut! Cut! Jing, don’t talk while we’re rolling, okay?

JING (off-panel): What…What is that?

HECTOR: What?

PANEL <05>
A giant metal leg steps beside Hector with a CLANG! He looks up.

DOCTOR OCTOPUS (from above): Children…

PAGE <07>

PANEL <01>
From the children’s POV, the silhouette of a large spider-like figure hangs above them. It wears shining goggles like two glowing bug eyes. It’s DOCTOR OCTOPUS, but they wouldn’t know that.

DOCTOR OCTOPUS: You are not welcome here.

PANEL <02>
The three children scream in unison.

KIDS: It’s the Spider-Man!

PANEL <03>
Close on Ock’s enraged, insane face.

DOCTOR OCTOPUS: What did you call me?!

PANEL <04>
A steel claw SPEARS straight for the kids.

PANEL <05>
It stops just before skewering Hector.

HECTOR: Wha…?

PANEL <06>
A long web holds the claw in place.

PAGE <08>

PANEL <01>
The web leads into a dark corner of the warehouse where someone speaks.

SPIDER-MAN: Sorry, Doc, can’t let you operate. These kids need a second opinion.

DOCTOR OCTOPUS (off-panel): You interfering little insect!

PANEL <02>
Ock sends his tentacles slashing at the voice, but Spider-Man is a blur as he leaps out of their way.

SPIDER-MAN: How many times I gotta say this, Octavius?

PANEL <03>
Spider-Man plants a kick right alongside the mad doctor’s face.

SPIDER-MAN: Spiders…

PANEL <04>
He slams his knee into the other side of Ock’s face before he can recover.

SPIDER-MAN: …are not…

PANEL <05>
Spider-Man decks Ock with a finishing right cross.

SPIDER-MAN: …insects!

PAGE <09>

PANEL <01>
Spider-Man stands over his fallen nemesis as the children cling to each other.

SPIDER-MAN: You kids okay?

PANEL <02>
The kids are terrified. Tears streaming from their eyes.

JING: Please don’t eat us please don’t eat us please don’t eat us please don’t eat us

PANEL <03>
Spider-Man retrieves Hector’s smartphone from the floor.

SPIDER-MAN: Eat you? What do you think I am?

PANEL <04>
He looks at the creepy image of the “Spider-Man” on the phone. More “Slender Man” than “Spider-Man.”

PANEL <05>
He tosses the phone to Hector.

SPIDER-MAN: I need a new press agent.

PAGE <10>

PANEL <01>
Moments later, Spider-Man holds the rolling door open with one arm as the kids flee into the street.

SPIDER-MAN: Go straight home and don’t let me catch you out here again.

PANEL <02>
Closer on Spider-Man. Behind him, the silhouette of one of Ock’s arms reaches out.

SPIDER-MAN: Seriously, Ock?

PANEL <03>
Spidey zaps Ock with one of his patented Spider-web speedballs - THWAP! The metal tentacle goes limp.

SPIDER-MAN: Will you ever learn?

PANEL <04>
Later, in Hector’s room, the three children are packed around his laptop. Jing has her hand on top of James’.

JAMES: How many hits, you think? A hundred thou?

PANEL <05>
They’ve uploaded their footage to their YOUTUBE CHANNEL. The video is entitled “WE SURVIVED THE SPIDER-MAN.”

HECTOR: A million. Two million Easy.

THE END

@BeingHenning


#4

Origin of Spider-Man: “Secret Origin”
Writer: Hazardpay (@Hazardpay)

PAGE ONE

PANEL 1
Overhead shot of Aunt May (70s, grey, tightly wrapped Crown braid hairstyle.) cooking wheat cakes. We see the top of her head, the spatula, the skillet, the stove top, and little else.

CAPTION 1: QUEENS, NY. 2008

CAPTION 2: Again, with the wheat cakes.

PANEL 2
In the foreground, teenage Peter Parker sitting at the breakfast table. He is wearing round, Harry Potter style glasses, and a black cardigan sweater over a white t-shirt. His expression is that of deep contemplation. In the background, May wears a green bathrobe, holds an Empty plate in one hand, spatula in the other. The kitchen has one large table in the center, old stove-top, rickety looking wood table.

CAPTION: I mean, I get it. She’s second generation immigrant. Making wheat cakes ( or Westfjord) keeps her parent’s memories alive.

PANEL 3
Close up of May’s hand as she serves wheat cakes. There’s a white indentation on her finger where her wedding ring use to be.

CAPTION: Oh, yeah. That? We got robbed three days ago. We didn’t have much to take, so, he took my aunt and uncle’s wedding rings.

PANEL 4
Uncle Ben stands in the doorway. He is a rather bearish looking old man. Hemmingway-esque. Bushy white beard, big bags under his eyes. He is wearing a dingy undershirt, boxer shorts, and over that, an open bathrobe.

CAPTION : Uncle Ben hasn’t been the same since it happened.
PANEL 5
The family sits around the table together in gloomy silence. Ben doesn’t eat. Just looks down at his plate. Peter and May eat.

PAGE TWO
*THE FIRST THREE PANELS ACT AS A TRIPTEK, CONVEYING THE IDEA OF TOGETHER BUT STILL ALONE.

PANEL 1
Mid-shot. May Parker sitting, eating breakfast. She looks lost in her own world. Eyes cast down. Sad. Everybody in these three panels looks sad.

PANEL 2
Mid-shot. Ben Parker sitting, eating breakfast. He looks more dazed than sad.

PANEL 3
Peter Parker sitting, eating breakfast. He looks pensive. Perhaps he’s trying to think his way out of this situation.

PANEL 4
May turns slightly to her right, talks to Ben. Ben stares forward, not looking directly at her.

MAY: Ben, it’s been three days. I think you should go outside today. Feed the squirrels. Play basketball with Peter. Something, Anything!

PANEL 5
Ben is facing us, walking away from the table. Behind him, we see the two family members still in their seats, looking morose.

BEN: I’m gonna go lie down.

PAGE THREE

PANEL 1
Inside Ben Parker’s bedroom. It’s an old man’s bedroom with all white carpeting, heavy oak dresser, and bedside table. We see Ben sitting on the bed, HIS EXPRESSION NEVER CHANGING, facing Peter. Peter sits on a recliner, talking, but animated while doing so.

PETER: …And at the last possible second, a spider got between the two orbs…

BEN: UH-HUH.

PETER: …Absorbing the radiation.

PANEL 2
Longshot. Ben sits on the bed, expressionless. Peter sits up slightly, talking with his hands.

PETER: And then, the spider bit me. And all the girls laughed at me.

BEN: That’ll happen.

PANEL 3
Longshot. Ben sits on the bed in a daze. Peter leaning forward, looking more energized.

PETER: But get this! I could feel it coursing through my veins! That bite gave me great strength!

PANEL 4
Longshot. Peter clenches his fists, reaching the apex of his story. Ben looks tired.

PETER: I walked up a wall! I crushed a steel pipe with my bare hands!

PANEL 5
Longshot. Peter is rising from his chair. Ben sits, staring into space.

PETER: I have super-powers, Uncle Ben! I’m more powerful than your average person! I have a calling! A destiny!

BEN: Don’t forget to take out the trash tonight.

PANEL 6
Longshot. Peter walks through the open doorway in the background, his back to us. Ben is on his back, legs dangling over the side of the bed, staring at the ceiling. This is not especially comfortable looking.

PAGE 4

PANEL 1
Nighttime. Outside BEST PAWN SHOP. Peter is wearing the webbing mesh mask, white shirt, blue pants as seen in the first wrestling match in AMAZING FANTASY#15. He is tearing the collapsible metal gate down. This is shot from overhead, like on a security camera. We are seeing this on a monitor, so the image is pixilated.

SFX: SKRUNCH!

PANEL 2
INSIDE the pawn shop. The walls are lined with landscape paintings and taxidermied birds. Loads of second-hand goods line the shelves: tools, toasters, clothes. Etc.etc. Peter stands before a long glass counter, containing jewelry. He has broken the glass, one hand already inside. Medium shot of him rooting through the glass case.

SFX: KERRISH!

PANEL 3
Close up of Peter’s hand as it clutches to the two rings. The wedding bands are CHEAP silver, SMALL Diamonds on them. Hardly worth stealing.

PETER (THOUGHT): Got ‘em! I can’t believe he would pawn them less than a mile from the house! Not too bright! I guess I could’ve bought these during business hours, but that’s only half the reason I came here tonight!

PANEL 4
Mid-shot. Peter stands there, holding the rings, lost in thought. Above his head is the famous buzzing spider-sense, which he is apparently ignoring. A single beam of light shines on him, coming from behind him. He’s ignoring this as well.

PETER (THOUGHT): I’d better ditch these clothes! But if I’m going to find that burglar, I need another disguise! What am I going to do?

PANEL 5
FAT SHOP OWNER (50s, Mob enforcer type. Meaty hands and stocky build.) welds a flashlight and a baseball bat.

PAWN SHOP OWNER: You steal from me?! I’m going to end you!

PAGE 5

PANEL 1
Medium shot. Peter strikes the Count Dante karate pose, webbing flying from his wrists. He emits a loud cry underneath the webbing mask. http://www.writeups.org/wp-content/uploads/Count-Dante-Deadliest-Man-Alive-comic-books-red-ad.jpg I’d like to include the red and black borders on this panel as well.

PETER: HI-YAAAA!

PANEL 2
Medium shot of The pawn shop owner. He tries to cover his face as he is hit by the webbing. He screams in terror. His facial expression is completely terrified.

PAWN SHOP OWNER: ARRRGGHHH!

PANEL 3
Longshot. Pawn shop owner webbed up/stuck to the back wall of the shop. Angry looking taxidermied birds look down on him. He looks less afraid, but no less unnerved by this experience.

PAWN SHOP OWNER: Where are the spiders? Are they going to crawl down and lay eggs in my ear?

PETER: Nah. I told them to take the day off. Now, where’s that ledger?

Panel 4
Peter strolls out the door casually, the big red ledger tucked under his arm. There’s the broken display case to his right and we see part of the webbed mass that contains the pawn shop owner on the left.

PETER: The webbing should dissolve in an hour…provided I did the math right.

PANEL 5
Close up of Peter’s face. He is grinning behind the webbing mask he’s wearing.

PETER
And you know I did, because I’m a freaking genius! See ya!

PAGE SIX

PANEL 1
Overhead shot of a lower-middle class single story suburban house. Night. Far left is a garbage can. Resting atop of the can is the red ledger from BEST PAWN. Far right, is the robber from AMAZING FANTASY#15. Blonde, scowling. He is dressed in a wife-beater and jeans. The robber is hauling a full trash bag to the can.

PANEL 2
Low angle on the robber reading his own name in the ledger. Cover of the book should read LEDGER. The entire panel is illuminated by a red light coming from overhead.

Panel 3
SPIDER-MAN (red and blue costume) crouches on the rooftop. The red Spider-signal light emitting from his belt.

Panel 4
Robber drawing a .38 from his waistband. He is still bathed in the red light of the Spider-signal.

PANEL 5
Spider-Man pounces on the robber. He has leapt from the room, and landed on the man’s back, dragging them both down. Spidey’s arms around the man’s neck, feet planted firmly on his back. The robber’s arms are flailing, .38 flying out of his hand.

PAGE SEVEN

PANEL 1
Close up of Spider-Man’s gloved fingers, holding a pair of wedding rings. They gleam in the moonlight.

SPIDER-MAN: Recognize these?

BURGLAR (OS): No.

PANEL 2
Spider-Man stands over the fallen robber. Two rings are now enclosed in his fist.

SPIDER-MAN: You terrified an elderly couple and a teen boy to get them, and you don’t remember?

PANEL 3
Medium shot of Spider-Man talking to the robber. Body language is tense. Ready to fight at any moment.

SPIER-MAN: Well, congratulations. Someone with super-powers hates you. And it doesn’t end when you get to jail. Oh, no. I can slip in and out, undetected. So, we’re going to be seeing a lot of each…

SFX: BLEEP BLEEP BOOOP. BLEEP BLEEP BOOOP (Cell phone ringing.)

PANEL 4
Spider-Man hunched over, talking into a cell phone. Cheap flip phone, NOT a Smartphone. Back turned towards the burglar.

SPIDER-MAN: Hello? Aunt May, I can hardly…

PANEL 5
ECU Spider-Man’s white lens. Dead center, we have a small word balloon simply reading: NO.

PANEL 6
LONG SHOT. In the foreground, is the discarded cell phone. Picture of Aunt May’s face on the screen. In the background, high above the house, is Spider-Man swinging away.

PAGE EIGHT

PANEL 1
Longshot. Night. The Parker house is to the left. Hiding behind a wall, (hidden to everyone but the reading audience.) is Peter, placing his street clothes over the Spider-Man costume. Tears run down his face. Center of the shot, is May and a Police officer. She is hunched over, handkerchief pressed to her face. Officer’s body language is stiff, formal. He has no personal connection to what’s going on, merely doing his job.

POLICE OFFICER: No signs of forced entry, Small caliber bullet wound…Mrs. Parker, I hate to say it, but Mr. Parker took his own life tonight.

MAY: He…He always took care of us. That robbery made him feel so helpless!

PANEL 2
Medium shot. Peter appears, dead center of the frame, looking contrite, Apologetic. Police are wheeling a body bag down the steps behind him. The captions act as a stream of consciousness. They position around his head, as though they are his thoughts projecting outwards.
PETER: AUNT MAY, I…

CAP1: If I hadn’t been so self-involved.

CAP2: IF only I had known what signs to look for.

CAP3 I knew something was wrong, I just didn’t know what to do! And now he’s dead!

PANEL 3
Midshot. Aunt May and Peter embrace.

PANEL 4
Close up of Peter’s hand placing the two wedding rings in the palm of May’s hand.

PANEL 5
Longshot. Peter and May standing together. A cop car has pulled up alongside them. The cop stands, holding the backdoor open for them.

COP: I’ll drive you two to the hospital. I’m done taking statements.

MAY: Peter, we have to start making arrangements. I’m going to need you, now, more than ever.

PAGE 9

PANEL 1
Lonshot of a multitude of cubicles. DAY. The wall has the company name, LIFECONNECT on the wall above everyone’s cube. The various word balloons pop up, hover over the cubes.

CAPTION: NEW YORK, NY. 2018

OPERATOR (OS): LIFECONNECT, MY NAME IS SARAH, WHO AM I SPEAKING WITH TODAY?

OPERATOR (OS): What’s your reason for calling?

OPERATOR (OS): Are you taking something for your anxiety, or no?

PANEL 2
Peter sits in his cube He is twenty-five years old. Wearing preppy clothes i.e. button up shirt collar protruding from a pricey sweater, and name brand jeans. Modern, stylish eyeglasses. A Bluetooth in his ear. Pics of Aunt May and Uncle Ben pinned to the wall. A word balloon appears out of the wireless device, akin to the type that comes out of electronic devices.

CALLER: Thanks for listening, Peter. I really appreciate it.

PETER: No problem. If you need to call again, don’t hesitate. I’m hope you’ll book an evaluation tomorrow, like we talked about.

CALLER: I will.

PANEL 3
Peter leans back in his chair, exhausted. Looking up at the ceiling, fingers interlaced behind his head.

PANEL 4
Peter stands, his office chair pushed back. Sweater off. He has opened up his button up shirt to reveal the famous Spider-Man logo.

PANEL 5
Peter opens an office window with one hand. He has One leg out the window, one leg still inside. One hand on the window, opening it. One hand stretched out behind him. He has his shirt open, revealing the costume, but he is still wearing his civilian clothing.

PAGE TEN

PANEL 1 SPLASH PAGE
Spider-Man simply enjoying the freefall. Arms and legs spread out, as if he were skydiving. It’s meant to look joyous and not suicidal. It’s easy for us to imagine a big smile splayed underneath the full face mask.

CAPTION 1: So, that’s basically it. I’m a chemist at Oscorp by day and a super-hero by night. I man the phone at Lifeconnect on weekends, holidays, and any time I can squeeze it in.

CAPTION 2: I don’t do it out of anger, or guilt. I do it to honor my Uncle Ben, and I can’t think of a better tribute.

CAPTION 3: Saving lives and beating the bad guy is my version of making Westfjord.

CAPTION 4: It’s easier, believe it or not. I can’t get that recipe right to save my life!

@Hazardpay


#5

Origin of Spider-Man: “Mr. Fish”
Writer: Marc Elmo (@MarcElmo)

PAGE 1

PANEL 1 -SPLASH
EXT. Daytime - Est. shot of the Avengers building, mansion, or wherever it is they stay now.

V.O. “Mr. Fish…”

PAGE 2

PANEL 1
Gathered around a central living area sit a group of costumed Avengers, including CAGE, THOR, SPIDER-MAN, WOLVERINE, BLACK WIDOW and HAWKEYE in various states of relaxation. There are refreshments on the table and the mood is relaxed and jovial, excepting THOR, who seems either distracted or annoyed. Or both.

CAGE (smiling) : “…and it ain’t close!”

PANEL 2
Closeup of HAWKEYE, talking through a mouthful of food.

HAWKEYE : ‘Mr. Fish’? Was he as dumb as it sounds?

PANEL 3
Cage and Hawkeye.

CAGE (laughing) : Depends…does a six-foot tall fish mob boss sound dumb to you?

HAWKEYE : Give me a sec - yes; yes it does.

PANEL 4
Mid-range shot, Hawkeye facing the others

HAWKEYE : That’s going to be hard to beat. Who’s next? Widow?

BLACK WIDOW : Hmm, stupidest villian… I’m going to have to pass.

PAGE 5

PANEL 1
Hawkeye, now standing, incredulous.

HAWKEYE: You can’t pass –

WOLVERINE : Gonna pass, too.

HAWKEYE : Come on, you’ve been around longer than the rest of us put together…there’s got to be somebody.

PANEL 2
Thor stands and moves away, toward the windows.

WOLVERINE : Don’t really attract the type in my line of work.

CAGE: He’s got you there.

HAWKEYE (getting exasperated) : Moving on…Thor?

PANEL 3
Thor turns, angry. Hawkeye waves her off.

THOR : I hath already told thou –

HAWKEYE : Right, right, nevermind.

HAWKEYE : (aside to SPIDER-MAN) I liked the original better.

PANEL 4
Closeup of Cage.

CAGE : How about you, Spidey? You GOT to have somebody.

PAGE 6

PANEL 1
Closeup of Spider-Man.

SPIDER-MAN: I’ve fought a few, ah, colorful ones…

PANEL 2
Oversized flashback-style montage of a few of Spidey’s more ludicrous villians: Kangaroo, Rocket Racer, Big Wheel, Mesmero, etc.

SPIDER-MAN: …but stupid? Nuh-uh.

PAGE 7

PANEL 1
Hawkeye and Cage.

HAWKEYE: Why not?

CAGE: What bout that cat on the skateboard? Rocket Somethingorother…

PANEL 2
Spider-Man stands now. Hawkeye grabs the last of the beers off the table.

SPIDER-MAN: Fair point. But glibly thinking of them as stupid…

HAWKEYE: I thought ‘glib’ was your middle name.

SPIDER-MAN: …is a slippery slope I won’t go down. Not again.

PANEL 3
CAGE and HAWKEYE look at each other.

HAWKEYE: I didn’t think anything was slippery to you. What with the wall-crawling feet and such.

PANEL 4
Shot of the group. Woverine stands and heads out.

SPIDER-MAN: Sigh. You know my story, right?

WIDOW: I’ve read your file.

HAWKEYE: I think so?

CAGE: Go on…

WOLVERINE: Heard it. I’m getting more brews.

PAGE 8

FLASHBACK:
PANEL 1
Peter Parker, standing close by as some Science dudes do some sort of experiment. A Spider hangs down above them. Menacingly, as they are wont to do.

V.O.: Long story short, teenaged nerd gets invite to demonstration on gene manipulation via radioactivity…

PANEL 2
The spider drops down, get zapped by radiation field. Menacingly.
…there’s apparently a spider who is also at the demonstration, although i’m not sure it got the same invite…

PANEL 3
The spider lands on Peter’s hand. You can’t believe the menace.

PANEL 4
Peter jerks his hand up, pain on his face.

V.O. …spider then bites nerd. Nerd has, er, intense physical reaction…

PANEL 5
Peter, bursting out of the doors of the building.

V.O. …followed by a huge rush of energy, like drinking a thousand Red Bulls…

PANEL 6
Peter on the sidewalk, head in hands. In obvious discomfort but ignored by any passers-by.

V.O. …followed by, well…

PAGE 9

PANEL 1
MONTAGE: Peter jumping out of the way of an oncoming taxi onto the side of a building, scaling the walls of the building, crushing a pipe on the roof, etc.

V.O. …yadda, yadda, yadda.

PANEL 2
RETURN TO PRESENT:
Spider-man is now standing, the others sitting up, focused. Thor has come back over and watches expressionless. Wolverine and Black Widow chit-chat in the near background.

HAWKEYE: It’s not the unlikeliest story I’ve ever heard…

CAGE: I mean, come on! You got bit by a SPIDER?

S-M: A radioactive spider.

CAGE: How–what–who–?

S-M: I know, right? Anyway, jump ahead a couple of days…

PANEL 3
FLASHBACK - INT. ARENA
A masked man in the center of an Octagon-like cage is just finishing up the last of a group of MMA opponents before a large and enthusiastic crowd.

V.O. I’m, er, at work. I’m not proud of it, but hey, I was young and broke…

PAGE 10

PANEL 1
The masked man knocks a much larger fighter clear across the cage with a right hook.

V.O. …I had a lot of nerd rage to work through.

PANEL 2
Backstage, Parker emerges from the locker room. He’s checking his phone.

V.O. Later that night, I turned my back on a crime in progress…

PANEL 3
A man in a ski mask with a gun in one hand and a bag in the other pushes past Parker, who doesn’t look up from his phone.

V.O. Just some punk thief looking for a quick score. Could have stopped him, but I didn’t…

PANEL 4
Parker approaches a row of townhomes. The police are out in force. Aunt May sits on the curb, her head in her hands.

V.O. …and it’s haunted me ever since.

PAGE 11

PANEL 1
PRESENT DAY:

S-M is now seated, as are the others.

S-M: So sure, Rocket Racer was a guy on a rocket-powered skateboard and White Dragon had a giant dragon head that shot flames out of its nose and there was a guy who jumped around like a kangaroo… I may joke around a lot when I’m dealing with them, but I promise I take each of them very seriously. You never know what can happen if you don’t.

PANEL 2
The others look at one another. The air has gone out of the room. Beat.

PANEL 3
Same as before.

HAWKEYE: So Luke, I guess you win.

WOLVERINE: Kicking the ass of a giant fish in a suit. Feels like a winner.

@MarcElmo


#6

Origin of Spider-Man: “The Awe-Inspiring Spider-Man”
Writer: Craig Sawyer (@csawyer)

10 pages
A long time neighbor of geeky high-school student Peter Parker keeps a journal of her friend’s terrifying life changes after he is bitten by a radioactive spider.

PAGE ONE:

1/ MARY JANE WATSON is on her bed writing in her journal.

CAPTION: Sat – May, My friend Peter has been acting really weird. Weirder than usual.

CAPTION: I’ve known Peter Parker since we were seven years old, but something is definitely up with him lately. I’m really worried. I haven’t seen him much since his Uncle Ben was killed, but he started acting strange before that. It all started last Mon during our field trip to Oscorp.

These captions should be written in cursive; like a page from her actual journal

2/ Through a spider web we see an establishing shot of Mid-Town High-School in Lake Forest, Queens. There is a tiny spider in the lower right hand corner of the panel.

CAPTION: LAST MONDAY

3/ Dozens of high-schoolers, including Mary Jane, climb the massive front steps leading up and into Mid-Town High. In the middle of the crowd is PETER PARKER. It’s like he has a spotlight of awkwardness is shining down on him from the heavens.

CAPTION: Peter is without a doubt the smartest person at school…and that includes the teachers. This usually doesn’t go over well with some of the other students…especially Flash.

4/ A bigger kid FLASH THOMPSON bumps into Peter and knocks him down. Peter’s books go airborne.

PETER: UGHHH!

5/ Peter picking up his books. Flash is shrugging his shoulders.

FLASH: Whoops! I didn’t see you there.

PAGE TWO:

1/ Kids lining up to get on a school bus. Peter is in line. Mary Jane is closer to the back throwing her hand up.

MARY JANE: PETER! Save me a SEAT!

2/ POV of a sheepish Peter waving back to her.

3/ A stout looking student Flash Thompson with a letterman jacket puts his hand on Mary Jane’s shoulder. M.J. Is putting on lipstick.

CAPTION: Flash has been trying to date me since seventh grade. He’s a jerk of the highest order.

FLASH: Why would you sit by that little dork…when you can sit with ME?

MARY JANE: Because of taste…I HAVE it.

4/ A few other jocks giggle beside a butt hurt Flash.

FLASH: Real funny.

FLASH: You are into REAL MEN…aren’t you? We should go to PROM.

5/ Mary Jane puts her hand seductive on a surprised Flash’s cheek.

MARY JANE: One night with a real man like Flash Thompson would probably ROCK my LITTLE world.

FLASH: Uh…uh…exactly.

6/ Mary Jane writes ‘STUD’ on Flash’s forehead in lip stick. Except the ‘U’ has a slash through it.

MARY JANE: Best to let everyone know what’s up…since I’m going to the prom with Peter.

PAGE THREE:

1/ On the bus Mary Jane is sitting beside Peter.

PETER: Did you really MEAN what you said?

MARY JANE: About what?

PETER: You and me going to the prom together.

MARY JANE: I was just trying to get under Flash’s skin…but sure. Unless, you have a date already?

PETER: Really? Uh…no date. I mean…I’m COMPLETELY available.

2/ Establishing shot of Oscorp Laboratories as the bus pulls up to the front gates.

NO DIALOGUE

3/ An awestruck Peter in the window with the Oscorp logo reflected over him.

PETER: Whoa…that is awesome.

4/ A humdrum Mary Jane.

MARY JANE: This is like your DISNEY WORLD…isn’t it?

PAGE FOUR:

1/ Inside one of Oscorp’s massive labs. The students are filing into the room. Huge electrodes are hoisted above complex machinery. One of the machines is labeled ‘Radioactive Waste Disposal Vaporization Unit.’

2/ An Oscorp representative TAVERS in a white lab coat addressing the students.

TAVERS: This our TRANSFIGURATION DISPOSAL device. It is for safely disposing of RADIOACTIVE WASTE.

3/ Peter eagerly raising his hand. Mary Jane is rolling her eyes.

NO DIALOGUE

4/ Close on Tavers.

TAVERS: Yes?

5/ Peter asking his question. Flash and his goons are in the background making faces.

PETER: I have been following the construction of the transfiguration tech for a while now. I thought it was put on the back burner due to being HIGHLY UNSTABLE and actually down right DANGEROUS.

6/ Two shot of Tavers and Peter.

TAVERS: Let me STOP you right there Mr…?

PETER: Parker…Peter Parker.

TAVERS: Mr. Parker. This technology has been APPROVED by the Scientific Safety Board of American Global. It was created by…

PETER: Norman Osborn. I am his biggest fan.

TAVERS: Good…then you know a scientist of Mr. Osborne’s caliber would never put anyone in harms way. May we move on with the tour Mr. Parker?

PETER: Uh…sure.

PAGE FIVE:

1/ A close up of the two twin electrodes exchanging a massive amount of energy. Peter can be seen through the burst with a worried look on his face. Mary Jane is shaking her head. Her journal is sticking out from her backpack.

MARY JANE: You just had to try and out nerd the scientist guy.

PETER: This machine is TOTALLY dangerous.

MARY JANE: Looks like something Doctor Frankenstein would have built.

2/ Flash taking out Mary Jane’s journal from her backpack.

FLASH: What’s this?

3/ A furious Mary Jane in Flash’s face.

MARY JANE: Give that back!

4/ Flash pushing back a very angry Mary Jane with one hand, as he holds the open journal with the other.

FLASH: Well…well…looks like we just found Mary Jane Watson’s journal. I wonder what deep dark secrets are in here? Let’s find out.

MARY JANE: I am going to PUNCH you in your big dumb face.

5/ The tiny spider that was closed up in the journal falls from its pages.

NO DIALOGUE

PAGE SIX:

1/ The spider crawling up the side of the Transfiguration Disposal.

NO DIALOGUE

2/ Flash reading from Mary Jane’s Journal.

NO DIALOGUE

FLASH: I hope to be a FAMOUS ACTRESS one day. I feel like have the LOOKS and TALENT…

3/ Close on Peter.

PETER: Just give it BACK. That is super private stuff.

FLASH: Oh, here’s one about you PARKER. I wish Peter would stand up for himself a little more and quit letting people WALK all over him. He has such a BIG HEART…

4/ Flash towering over a sad looking Peter. He is still holding Mary Jane back.

MARY JANE: Flash! You idiot!

FLASH: What if I DON’T?

5/ Mary Jane punches Flash in the face.

CAPTION: I really shouldn’t have punched Flash in the face…but I have to admit, it felt really good at the time.

6/ Flash looks up at Mary Jane with pure anger in his eyes. A trickle of blood running from his nose.

FLASH: I don’t hit girls…but say so long to your stupid journal.

7/ Flash tosses it on top of the machine near the huge electrodes.

NO DIALOGUE

PAGE SEVEN:

1/ Peter steps up in between Flash and Mary Jane.

PETER: Don’t worry M.J. I will get it back for you.

MARY JANE: You don’t have to do this.

2/ Peter starts to climb the machine. A nervous Mary Jane looks on from down below.

MARY JANE: Be careful, Pete.

3/ Peter’s outstretched hand is almost touching the book. We can see the tiny spider climbing up the tower through the pulsing energy. It is right above Peter.

PETER: I’ve almost got it…

4/ The tip of Peter’s hand is touching the book. The spider is descending from the tower toward Peter’s hand.

NO DIALOGUE

5/ Peter grabs the book as the spider bites him on the hand.

PETER: Got it! OUCH!

PAGE EIGHT:

1/ Mary Jane in her living room watching a crudely dressed spider man wrestle a muscle bound monster of a man on TV.

CAPTION: A week later; all of our lives took a tragic turn.

TV SFX: THIS MYSTERIOUS SPIDER MAN IS GIVING THE CRUSHER A BEATING.

2/ MJ’s mother is now in the room asking her something.

MJ’S MOTHER: Stop watching this NONSENSE and take out the trash.

TV SFX: IMPORTANT NEWS BULLETIN! THERE HAS BEEN A ROBBERY AT TONIGHTS WRESTLING MATCH.

MARY JANE: OK. I will in a little while.

CAPTION: I was taking out the trash and heard a terrible crash in the alleyway.

3/ Mary Jane in her pajamas picking up a trash can lid with one hand. Spider webbing is covering everything. A single web rope is dangling from a light-pole.

4/ Peter’s Uncle Ben is standing on his back porch.

UNCLE BEN: Oh, it’s you Mary Jane. I thought you may be Pete.

5/Mary Jane trying to wipe the webbing from her hand.

MARY JANE: Nope, just me Mr. Parker. I haven’t seen much of Peter lately.

6/ Two shot of a worried looking Uncle Ben and a concerned Mary Jane.

UNCLE BEN: I’m a little worried about him. He’s been staying out late and is being distant with me and May.

MARY JANE: I’m sure he’s alright. Highschool can be a little intense. He’s still our Pete.

UNCLE BEN: I think I might drive around the neighborhood and look for him.

7/ Shot of Peter hiding behind a parked car rubbing his sore head. He is wearing the spidey suit.

PAGE NINE:

CAPTION: I hadn’t been in bed long when I heard sirens.

1/ Overhead establishing shot of Peter Parker’s modest house. It is surrounded by police cars and an Ambulance. Peter’s AUNT MAY is outside talking to officers. Uncle Ben’s car is in the drive-way with the drivers side door open. A chalk outline is on the street.

2/ Mary Jane still in her pajamas talking to a stunned Aunt May.

MARY JANE: What happened?

AUNT MAY: Uncle Ben was shot.

MARY JANE: Oh, no…Pete?

AUNT MAY: He was angry. He said he was going to do something about this.

3/ Establishing shot of an abandoned warehouse. Spider Man is swinging through the pouring rain toward the building.

CAPTION: Uncle Ben had told us something when we were kids.

4/ Inside the building is the pleading robber who shot Uncle Ben. Spider man is holding him by his collar.

CAPTION: It was after Peter and I had come home after being bullied at school. Peter wanted Uncle Ben to teach him how to fight. He wanted to pay the bullies back for what they had done to us.

SPIDER MAN: It CAN’T be. You were the robber I let run past me after the WRESTLING MATCH.

5/ Spider Man walking down the hallway counting his prize money. The Robber brushing past him. A security guard yelling in the background.

CAPTION: His uncle agreed to teach both of us, but he said to remember these words…

SECURITY GUARD: Stop him!

SPIDER MAN: Not my deal, pal. I’ve got to hurry home and count my winnings.

6/ Spider Man dangling the robber over steep scaffolding.

CAPTION: That with great power…

ROBBER: Don’t do it! I’m begging you.

7/ The robber hanging upside down covered in webbing. A sign is hanging on him that reads. ‘The man who murdered Ben Parker.’

PAGE TEN:

Full page shot
1/ A teary Peter standing over Ben Parker’s grave.

CAPTION: …Comes great responsibility.

@csawyer


#7

Origin of Spider-Man: “Sting”
Writer: Jason R. Carter (@JRCarter)

PAGE ONE

1/ This is the establishing shot (NOTE: Everything in this story is from first-person perspective a la Hardcore Harry. The reader should literally be seeing this from Peter Parker’s POV). We see the experiment from Amazing Fantasy #15. DR. ERIC SCHWINNER is standing before

DR. SCHWINNER: And now for a demonstration of how we can control radioactive rays here in our laboratory.

2/ The particle accelerator charges up.

SFX: BZZZZT

3/ Same as panel 2

PETER: OW!!

4/ Peter is looking down at We see the glowing spider on the back of Peter’s hand.

PETER (CAPTION): The first thing I remember feeling was the brief sting

PAGE TWO

1/ Peter shakes the spider off his hand.

NO COPY

2/ Peter clutches the bitten hand.

PETER (CAPTION): Then the sting became a burning pain.

3/The POV is slightly blurry

PETER (CAPTION): Then, my whole world started to blur.

PETER: Excuse me, I need some air.

4/Peter’s POV as he heads for the exit

DR. SCHWINNER/off-panel: Experiment seems to have unnerved young Mr. Parker.

PAGE THREE

1/ Close-up on Peter’s palms.

PETER (CAPTION): Then I remember feeling like I was on fire.

PETER: What’s happening to me?

2/ Still looking at palms

SFX: HONK HOOOOONK!!!

3/ A car is coming towards the reader.

DRIVER: HEY!

4/ Extreme close-up on the side of a building as we see Peter’s hands stick to them.

PETER: What?

PAGE FOUR

1/ Close-up of Peter’s hand squeezing the pipe.

PETER (CAPTION): After that, I just felt so much energy.

2/ CRUSHER HOGAN is standing in a wrestling ring, laughing. The panel should look as though we’re seeing it through the eyeholes of a ski mask.

PETER (CAPTION): Like I could take on the world.

3/ The THIEF is running past Spider-Man.

PETER (CAPTION) Never really think about that brief bit of pain anymore.

4/ GUARD is yelling at the reader.

5/ A police car outside the Parker home.

PETER (CAPTION): But because what I remembered most after that day…

PAGE FIVE

Splash page. Close-up on a POLICE OFFICER (in fact, THE police officer) with a very solemn look on his face.

PETER (CAPTION): …was the much worse pain to come.

POLICE OFFICER: Bad news, son…

THE END

@JRCarter


#8

Origin of Spider-Man: "Exhibition"
Writer: Bruce Norris (@BruceNorris)

PG. 1 (5 PANELS)

1/NEW YORK CITY - DUSK
SPIDER-MAN/PETER PARKER frantically swings under a building overhang.

2/ Hiding in the shadows and breathing heavy, he snatches off his mask. Soaked in sweat, he glances around, eyes carrying a look of fear/terror.

3/Steeling himself, he quickly examines a severe spear wound to his thigh. Blood seeps through a makeshift web bandage.

4/Hurriedly, he turns his attention to a second and more recent wound, his hand desperately applying pressure to it. It’s between his head and shoulder.

5/Removing his hand from his trapezius muscle, he reveals a savage bite mark. It’s human…and a chunk of his flesh is missing. Again fear grips him.

PETER: (whisper) Holy shit, that guy bit me!

PG. 2 (5 PANELS)

1/Peter squeezes his eyes shut, trying to focus through the pain and draw strength from the events of his past.

2/FLASHBACK: EIGHTEEN MONTHS EARLIER.
INT. SCIENCE EXHIBITION – DAY

3/High school students from around the country have come to attend the Midwest Science Exhibition in Dayton, Ohio. [NOTE: Among those present are students from Midtown High.]

4/Angle on Peter Parker and LIZ ALLAN, golden haired, raven eyed, “starlet”.

5/Peter looks pitiful and nervous, repeatedly glancing at their teacher and chaperones as they work their way towards them taking attendance.

LIZ: (whispering) …if they haven’t figured it out by now.

PG. 3 (5 PANELS)

1/Peter tries to look inconspicuous among the other students.

PETER: (whispering) My uncle laughed when I asked him to sign the permission slip.
LIZ: (whispering) Sloppy handwriting is a sign of intelligence. I thought he was smart. Here.

2/Liz places what appears to be a piece of candy in his hand.

LIZ: (cont.) Problem solved.

3/Palming it, Peter glances down, eyes growing big.

PETER: (whispering) What is - - -?!

4/Teacher walks up to them, pointing a pen. [NOTE: Peter’s ready for the “s#!t to hit the fan”.]

TEACHER: Parkmmm,…LZmmm.

5/Mumbling to himself, he checks them off the list, then moves on.

PG. 4 (5 PANELS)

1/Liz gives Peter a playfully smug look.

LIZ: (whispering) See? Even if they knew, you think your uncle would fly all the way out here just to get you? Trust, you’re home free.

2/Peter’s fingers fidget with the piece of candy, as if to say, “What is this?!”

LIZ: (whispering) I thought you eccentric types were into expanding your consciousness.

PETER: (whispering) Wait, what?!..I never, I mean. I don’t.

3/ Smiling, Liz let’s out a tiny GIGGLE.

LIZ: (whispering) Relax, genius. Not that big a deal. I just thought we could have some fun together.

4/ Playfully, Liz pops the “candy” into her mouth, then walks off.

LIZ: Give it back…later.

5/Exasperated but intrigued, Peter takes a deep breath, exhales sharply, then takes a “leap of faith” and removes the wrapper.

PG. 5 (5 PANELS)

1-2/For the next few hours, Peter and Liz have a ball watching various experiments and exhibitions. Together, they experience awe, wonder and…hilarity. [NOTE: Think of any movie you’ve seen where the characters have a psychedelic experience and are enjoying themselves.]

3/CUT TO: SPIDER - AT THAT MOMENT
Angle on a SPIDER so hideous it looks like something out of a sci-fi horror film. [NOTE: This…creature looks like it might be a giant, mutant, tarantula of some sort.

PETER: (v.o.) Fun fact about nature, it always finds a way indoors. I’m still trying to run down the origins of that spider.

4/Spider mutates one more time as it bites down on something (Peter). [NOTE: Look of Spider should be crazy/alien.]

PETER: (cont.) It must have been all over that facility, getting into God knows what. I ran the math. Considering life cycle and number of births, who knows what generation of spider bit me or what the cumulative exposure was.

5/Pull back to show spider is rather small as it sits on Peter’s hand.

PG. 6 (5 PANELS)

1/MONEY SHOT OF PETER PARKER’S REACTION TO THE BITE. (In agonizing pain, he grasps his hand). [NOTE: If I had the space, I’d do it as a full page.]

PETER: GASP!!

2/Pete drops to the floor and does the most grotesque full body heave you could imagine, makes you think he “shat” himself.

3/Slobber and everything as a medic moves in to administer aid. [NOTE: In the end, camera would swirl us up and away from the scene, ascending as if his soul.]

PETER: (v.o) All I know is, I’m not dead. A lethal dose or exposure to anything has yet to be detected in my system.

4/CAPTION: ONE MONTH LATER
Peter wakes in a hospital bed with tubes and such hooked to him. Surrounding him are doctors and his AUNT MAY.

PETE: (v.o) Oh yeah, I was in a coma for a month. The doctors couldn’t figure out what happen to me. Frustrated, they just called it an overdose. They told my aunt…if…I woke up, there was a good chance I’d have brain damage…

5/INT. HOME OF AUNT MAY AND UNCLE BEN - SOME TIME LATER
Aunt May helps Peter(using a non-axillary crutch) into the house. He’s home for the first time since the “accident”. UNCLE BEN sits flipping channels on the television, a look of annoyance on his face.

PETE: (cont.) …Needless to say, my uncle was disappointed.

PG. 7 (5 PANELS)

EXT. CITY STREET - TWO DAYS LATER
1/Long shot of Peter(still walking with a crutch) and a friend, C.J. VOGEL, beside him on a skateboard. The two are engaged in conversation, Vogel the more animated of the two. [NOTE: Peter has a cellphone in his hand.]

PETER: She keeps avoiding me.

C.J. VOGEL: (jokingly) Forget Liz, man. You got your life back. Consider her practice…

2/C.J. gives Peter a playful nudge as he turns to skate away flamboyantly, having forgotten Peter’s fragility and lack of balance. Losing his grip on the phone, Peter stumbles toward the curb as he fumbles with it.

C.J. VOGEL: (cont.) …Plenty of fish in the sea.

3/HONK! HONK! Startled by a car horn, Vogel turns back toward the street.

4/His attention is drawn upward as a human form quickly scales a building across the street.

C.J VOGEL: Shit!

PETE: (v.o.) In hindsight, I figure almost getting hit by that car is what triggered my abilities.

5/Attempting to film it, Vogel pulls his phone. He’s too late as the figure scurries onto the roof and disappears.

PG. 8 (5 PANELS)

1/ROOFTOP - SIMULTANEOUS
Peter scurries onto the rooftop, accidentally crushing a steel pipe as he does so. [NOTE: This is a direct rip of the panel from “Amazing Fantasy” #15.]

PETER: (v.o) It didn’t take long for me to discover my powers…

2/Angle on Peter, feeling the energy surging through his body. [NOTE: This is also a direct rip of the panel from “Amazing Fantasy” #15.]

PETER: It’s the spider! It has to be!

3/Angle on Peter climbing down a cable. [NOTE: Again, a direct rip of panel from “Amazing Fantasy” #15.]

PETER: (v.o) …One power that was particularly gross was my body’s ability to create chains of amino acids and combine them to make various proteins…

4/Long shot of Peter, spider web in the foreground. [NOTE: Again, a direct rip of panel from “Amazing Fantasy” #15.]

PETER: (cont.) …That meant I could create the stuff to make webs, like a spider. I just didn’t have the “biological hardware” (spinnerets) to spin it.

5/INT. CLASS ROOM - SOME TIME LATER
Peter, eyeing the clock and “chomping at the bit”, waiting for class to end.

PG. 9 (5 PANELS)

1/HALLWAY
Peter at his locker, covertly trying to decide whether to wear a mask or not.
Posted up beside his locker door is C.J. Vogel.

C.J. VOGEL: Should have seen the piece I saw on YouTube about the connection between secret societies and superhumans. Shit was frightening, dude.

2/Oblivious to C.J. and obviously agitated, Peter slams the locker shut. [NOTE: C.J.'s like, “Whoa”.]

PETER: He was hitting her. In front of everybody…and not even the teacher stopped him.

3/Angle on C.J., his expression turned serious.

C.J. VOGEL: I know it sucks, but Flash Thompson “owns” her. Just leave it alone.

4/EXT. LOCAL FAST FOOD RESTAURANT - DAY
Peter approaches FLASH THOMPSON & his CREW as they sit at an outdoor table.

5/Peter walks right up, takes Flash’s drink and throws it in his face.

PG. 10 (5 PANELS)

1/Peter turns and runs, Flash and crew on his heels. [NOTE: Peter’s expression and body language make it obvious he wants them to follow.]

2/Peter turns and, discreetly, shoots a web line across Flash’s path, causing him to trip.

PETER: (v.o) Remember I said I didn’t have the “biological hardware” to spin webs? I solved that problem by creating wrist-worn “web-shooters”,…kinda works like a water gun.

3/Peter gets cornered by three of Flash’s crew in the parking lot. [NOTE: Peter backs into the front bumper of a car parked close to the building.]

4/Peter does a backflip, vaulting up and over the car, landing at the trunk.

5/Adrenaline pumping, he shoves the car with his foot, sending it careening into the three boys.

PG. 11 (5 PANELS)

1/The three lie still, pinned between the car and the building wall.

2/ Peter turns to face Flash, who’s just arrived. [NOTE: He didn’t see what just happened.]

3/ Flash gets in his face. [NOTE: Shows ya how stupid he is.]

FLASH: You little - - -!

4-5/ Peter grabs his ear and yanks him to the ground. [NOTE: Peter does this casually, as if shooing a fly.]

PG. 12 (5 PANELS)

1/Flash lands hard(head bouncing off the pavement), as Liz comes running up.

2/Shoving Peter aside, Liz helps a dazed Flash up to a sitting position, as she gives Peter a look that could kill. Lips parting, she starts to say something.

LIZ: F#©k- - -!..

PETE: (v.o.) I think right then and there, my “Give a Shit” broke. Cuz, I didn’t hear and don’t remember anything she said once she started yelling at me.

3/Peter crumbles emotionally.

PETER: (cont.) Later, I found out Flash was a street level thug for some big time dealer called the CAMELEON. Soon after, the Cameleon would be the first supervillain I ever faced.

4/INT. PETER’S BEDROOM - SOME TIME LATER
Pete sneaks in through the window, “spider style”. [NOTE: Thing about sneaking out is, if ya do it right, everyone thinks your home.]

5/His body stiffens at the sound of his uncle’s voice.

BEN: (v.o.) Peter!

PG. 13 (5 PANELS)

1/Angle on Peter…(DAMN.)
Still, he’s able to modulate his response.

PETER: Sir?

BEN: (v.o.) Come here. We need to talk.

2/KITCHEN
Angle on Peter and Uncle Ben. Peter stands while Uncle Ben sits drinking a beer. [NOTE: AUNT MAY is in the background.] [NOTE: There’s also a set of stairs leading to the basement.]

BEN: (cont.) I hear school’s been rough, kids laying into you about what happened and all that. That don’t bother you?

PETE: It doesn’t bother me.

3/Angle on Ben, idly fondling the beer can.

BEN: Well, if it did, you could come to me. I’ll help you out, get them to lay off? You know, put some respect on your name.

4/ Pete struggles not to roll his eyes or chuckle.

PETE: I’m good.

5/Tight angle on Uncle Ben and Peter.
Uncle Ben: Didn’t like what he thought he just saw from Peter. Peter: “Spider-sensing” his uncle’s changing mood.

BEN: Something funny?! I’ve got experience. I know a few things.

PETE: I said, I’ll handle it.

P.G. 14 (5 PANELS)

1/Finished with his beer, Uncle Ben crushes the can, as if a show of force.

BEN: That so? Look at me when I’m talking to you! You’ve got your whole life ahead of you. Don’t squander your…TALENTS.

2/CUT TO: PRESENT DAY
Tight shot of Peter’s face. A look of shock. [NOTE: That “Oh shit! What does this guy know” look.]
[NOTE: From here on out, we’re gonna cut frantically from past to present. Be ready.]

3/CUT TO: PAST
Uncle Ben and Peter.

BEN: (cont.) That’s right, I’m not stupid. I see things. I knowing what you can do. You better start listening to me.

4/Aunt May chimes in.

AUNT MAY: Please stop. Peter’s been through enough. He’s doing well, especially for someone his age trying to adjust.

PETER: (v.o)
Poor Aunt May. She was just trying to help.

5/Uncle Ben gesturing aggressively at Aunt May.

PETER: (cont.) She didn’t say anything wrong.

P.G. 15 (5 PANELS)

1/Uncle Ben rushes Aunt May, intent on “putting her in her place”.

BEN: That’s right, you didn’t say nothing! Nothing at all!

2/Peter stops him.

PETE: No!

3/CUT TO: PRESENT DAY
Peter with a look of rage.

4/CUT TO: PAST
Uncle Ben hurtling across the kitchen and slamming into the counter and cabinets.

5/Landing in a heap near the stairs, he attempts to stand.

P.G 16 (5 PANELS)

1/Uncle Ben’s leg gives way, causing him to stumble and fall down the stairs.

2/CUT TO: PRESENT DAY
Peter with tears running down his face.

3/CUT TO: PAST
Peter cradling his Uncle Ben in his arms at the bottom of the stairs as Aunt May calls 911.

PETE: I’m sorry.

UNCLE BEN: (whispering) …I never really knew what I was doing with you…Had other plans for my life…Your father was special. Don’t know if…you’re special…

4/CUT TO: PRESENT DAY
Peter wipes his face.

UNCLE BEN: (v.o.) …Only you’ll know if you are, and it ain’t gonna come till the time is right…

5/Pete pulls on his mask and swings out from hiding.

UNCLE BEN: (cont.) …You’re gonna get knocked down, get beat up, and ya gonna see if you got the right thing…

P.G. 17 (SPLASH PANEL)
Angle on Spider-Man as he steps out to face KRAVEN THE HUNTER.

UNCLE BEN: (cont.) …You, me, your father. We’re just alike. Don’t mess up like me…With great power comes great responsibility.

END

@BruceNorris


#9

Origin of Spider-Man: “Time of Your Life”
Writer: Tony Laplume (@YoungDuke)

PAGE ONE

Panel 1
A shot of a framed photograph of a very young Peter Parker with his parents, Richard and Mary Parker. They’re all beaming. It’s a studio portrait. Peter is about five years old. His hands are thrown in front of him, very much reminiscent of how he holds them when shooting webbing later, as Spider-Man. His parents are in their thirties.

CAPTION: I actually don’t like thinking about them. My parents. Richard and Mary Parker.

RICHARD: Know what they called Peter Pan before he came to Neverland?

Panel 2
Now we’re live. The family is outside, in Central Park, surrounded by trees. Richard is holding his son by his hands, lifting him in the air. Peter has a grin about the size of New York City. Mary is there enjoying herself as well.

CAPTION: I’m at a place now…I’ve found peace about what happened. But still.

RICHARD: Peter Can’t!

MARY: Honey, that doesn’t even make sense!

Panel 3
Richard has thrown Peter into the air, and again we can see Peter’s hands in the signature arrangement of web-shooting Spider-Man. You can see that Mary’s expression has turned wry.

CAPTION: It’s not that I want to forget. God, no.

PETER: So?

RICHARD: See? Petey doesn’t care!

MARY: I wouldn’t expect anything less from the son of Richard Parker.

Panel 4
Peter has grabbed on to a branch and is already swinging upward.

CAPTION: It’s just…painful.

RICHARD: Well. Here’s a problem.

MARY: Go get ‘im!

Panel 5
Richard jumps upward, grabbing the same branch Peter did. We can see Peter giggling.

CAPTION: You see, I was never happier in my whole life.

RICHARD: I thought we gave birth to a regular human boy!

MARY: If only…!

PAGE TWO

Panel 1
Peter sitting in the living room of Ben and May Parker. He’s clearly still the same age, although he’s lost all the joy in his face. His aunt and uncle are in their forties, a full decade older than his parents. They look completely lost, uncomfortable, not sitting down with him.

CAPTION: But then everything changed.

UNCLE BEN: Look…son. We’re…just going to have to make the best of it. Just…think of it as a responsibility, won’t you?

Panel 2
Peter is looking up doubtfully at Uncle Ben. Aunt May is trying to look reassuring. Her attention is focused on Uncle Ben.

CAPTION: It’s not that I hated them. My aunt and uncle. It’s just…they weren’t the same.

UNCLE BEN: It’s a new responsibility for us, too, you know. We never…thought we’d have kids.

Panel 3
Uncle Ben gamely continues trying. Aunt May looks less and less convinced. Same as Peter.

CAPTION: The first thing my uncle ever did was demonstrate just how different he really was from my dad.

UNCLE BEN: What do you say we toss around the old baseball?

Panel 4
We’re back in Central Park. Uncle Ben and Peter both have baseball gloves. Uncle Ben has just tossed the ball well past Peter. Aunt May looks on unhappily.

CAPTION: It wasn’t his fault. I know that. He couldn’t help it.

UNCLE BEN: Guess I…don’t know my own power.

Panel 5
Uncle Ben is scratching the back of his head, embarrassed. Peter is moping. Aunt May is retrieving the ball.

CAPTION: All the joy in my life had vanished, and he couldn’t replace it. No matter what he did. Or couldn’t do.

AUNT MAY: I…I’ve got it.

PAGE THREE

Panel 1
Peter is older now. Ten years have passed. He’s a teenager. Wears the familiar glasses. He’s on the field trip that will change his life forever. Uncle Ben is there, acting as a chaperone. But Peter is standing far away from him. Uncle Ben looks disappointedly toward Peter. To be fair, he’s also isolated from the rest of the class, lingering behind as their guide in the lab begins talking about something else. It should be noted that Uncle Ben is now in his fifties.

CAPTION: I guess I didn’t make it easy for him, but really, what choice did I have?

GUIDE: …but let’s move on, shall we?

Panel 2
Uncle Ben has walked over to Peter, attempting once again to salvage things. Peter is distracted with the spider that will change his life.

CAPTION: I guess I’d become someone else, someone who was beyond saving.

UNCLE BEN: What do you say, sport? Care to join the rest of us?

Panel 3
Uncle Ben has attempted to place a hand on Peter’s shoulder, but it’s quickly shrugged off.

CAPTION: I felt like a lost cause. I’d just spent ten miserable years of my life separated from everything that had given it meaning.

PETER: Leave me alone.

Panel 4
Uncle Ben shrugs. This isn’t the first time he’s received this treatment.

CAPTION: Nothing had managed to change that, in all that time.

UNCLE BEN: Suit yourself. Don’t stray too far, okay?

Panel 5
Uncle Ben walks away again. Peter remains fascinated by the spider.

CAPTION: I figured, nothing ever would.

PAGE 4

Panel 1
Peter is sitting in his room, holding his hand. He’s been bitten, of course.

CAPTION: All I could think was, it hurt.

PETER: Stupid spider.

Panel 2
There’s a knock at his door.

CAPTION: It just kept hurting.

PETER: Go away!

Panel 3
Uncle Ben walks in anyway.

CAPTION: When you live with pain like that, it changes you. You think it changes you forever.

UNCLE BEN: I know you don’t want to see me. Can’t say I didn’t warn you, right?

Panel 4
Peter throws a pillow at Uncle Ben. It is not a playful gesture. Peter looks suddenly very angry.

CAPTION: It had reached a point where practically the only thing I remembered was the pain.

Panel 5
Uncle Ben is walking out of the room again. He knows when to give up. Still, he looks more hurt than upset about how things turned out. Peter, meanwhile, looks astonished. This is a version of Spider-Man that has organic webs. He sees webbing attached to the pillow he just threw. Clearly Uncle Ben didn’t.

CAPTION: But things change.

PAGE FIVE

Panel 1
Peter is slipping out his bedroom window. This is later, at night.

CAPTION: It’s always natural to resist change.

Panel 2
Peter has just realized that he can cling to surfaces like a spider. Again he has a look of astonishment. He’s fully out the window, adhering to the outside of their apartment building.

CAPTION: Change is scary, most of the time. It represents something different from what you used to know, what was comfortable.

Panel 3
Peter is wall-crawling on the side of the apartment building. But Uncle Ben has stuck his head out another window. He sees what Peter is doing.

CAPTION: If you’re lucky, the new thing will feel natural. But that doesn’t always happen.

Panel 4
Peter has now seen Uncle Ben, too. He’s once again astonished.

CAPTION: Every once in a while, though…

Panel 5
Uncle Ben flashes Peter a smile. Peter smiles back.

CAPTION: You will be amazed.

PAGE SIX

Panel 1
It’s the next morning at breakfast. Peter is still grinning. Uncle Ben is still grinning. Aunt May is utterly flummoxed by the boys in her life today.

CAPTION: The decision then becomes, what to do next?

AUNT MAY: Honestly, you two look like the cat that swallowed the canary…!

Panel 2
Peter and Uncle Ben are sharing conspiratorial grins. That is, they’ve turned to look at each other. Aunt May’s expression hasn’t changed.

CAPTION: It might not seem so obvious. There’s a lot of programming you’ll have to rework.

AUNT MAY: What has gotten into you?

Panel 3
Peter and Uncle Ben turn innocently back toward their breakfasts. Now it’s Aunt May’s turn to smile.

CAPTION: Life doesn’t come with an on/off switch.

AUNT MAY: About time.

Panel 4
Peter and Uncle Ben are smiling again, still looking diligently at their plates.

CAPTION: Humans aren’t machines. But we have some pretty intricate circuits.

AUNT MAY: I don’t suppose either of you are going to tell me…

Panel 5
Uncle Ben is grinning at Aunt May now. Peter remains focused on his breakfast.

CAPTION: Reprogramming us can sometimes be as simple as crossing a few wires.

UNCLE BEN: I don’t suppose you still have your sewing machine…?

PAGE SEVEN

Panel 1
Peter is wearing most of a very crude Spider-Man costume, and he’s slipping on the mask as Uncle Ben slaps him on the back.

CAPTION: The problem, though, is not to let the wrong wires cross.

UNCLE BEN: Go get ‘em, champ.

Panel 2
Peter enters the wrestling arena. There’s people chanting “Spider Parker” randomly, echoing the announcer in the ring. Uncle Ben is going in the opposite direction. He still looks incredibly pleased.

CAPTION: The temptation, as always, is to let the moment get ahead of you. That’s what I’m saying. The problem is always that you never seem to be what you think you are. The hero of your own narrative.

RING ANNOUNCER: And hailing right here from Midtown…”Spider” Parker!

Panel 3
Uncle Ben is exiting the building.

Panel 4
Uncle Ben stands just outside the building, waiting for the match to be over.

Panel 5
Peter is being carried on the shoulders of his newfound fans. He’s turned his head as a man who looks incredibly shady approaches Uncle Ben, thinking no one will notice in all the excitement if he tries to rob him. He’s clearly got something he’s holding in his jacket pocket.

CAPTION: I spent so long being the victim, I forgot what it even meant to be the hero.

PAGE EIGHT

Panel 1
The shady man has drawn a gun. Peter is no longer paying attention, lost in the moment, in the crowd’s adulation. Uncle Ben finally notices the man, a look of surprise on his face.

SHADY MAN: Don’t make this difficult.

Panel 2
Much the same as the previous panel, except now the shady man and Uncle Ben are fighting over the gun. Peter doesn’t notice.

SHADY MAN: …Hey!

Panel 3
A shot rings out. Uncle Ben once more looks astonished. Peter suddenly is paying attention again. It should be noted that he definitely is still wearing the mask.

Panel 4
The shady man is attempting to run away. Peter is ripping off the mask and running toward Uncle Ben, who’s collapsed on the ground.

Panel 5
Uncle Ben is pointing toward the shady man. Peter looks incredibly conflicted.

UNCLE BEN: Remember…responsibility.

PAGE NINE

Panel 1
Peter still has the mask off, but he’s just shot some his webbing, in broad daylight, at the shady man. Everyone else is panicking, gathering around Uncle Ben. They don’t notice what Peter’s done.

Panel 2
The shady man is completely covered in webbing, except his face, which is one of utter astonishment. Peter is stumbling toward Uncle Ben. Tears are streaming down his face.

PETER: …Dad?

Panel 3
Uncle Ben is reaching up toward Peter.

UNCLE BEN: It’s okay, son. It’s okay.

Panel 4
Uncle Ben’s arm falls. Peter is clutching him. Sirens can be heard in the background.

VFX: Weeeerrrr!

Panel 5
Peter is stretching out his arm, shooting webbing again.

CAPTION: You see, it’s about responsibility.

PAGE TEN

Panel 1
A wide shot of the panicking crowd, with Peter’s feet just at the top of the panel. He’s swung away.

CAPTION: The second worst day of my life was actually the day everything came back into focus.

Panel 2
We see Peter’s swinging through the city on webbing. He’s slipped on the crude Spider-Man mask again. Can’t see tears that way, right?

CAPTION: I wasn’t abandoning Uncle Ben. Far from it. I would have other chances to say goodbye. Lots and lots of them, really.

Panel 3
Closing in on Peter, so that he’s all we see.

CAPTION: In that moment, I realized what I’d been fighting against, all that time. Ten years. It wasn’t Uncle Ben. Wasn’t Aunt May. Not the death of my parents. It was against myself. I’d lost myself. Lost any certainty. Lost hope. Lost my smile. But suddenly I had purpose again.

Panel 4
Now all we see is Peter’s masked face. But we can see his broad smile.

CAPTION: The only proper way to mourn my uncle, my parents, was to honor their memory. Live the lessons they’d given me. And I was going to love life again. God, like you wouldn’t believe…!

PETER: Peter’s flying again! Peter Can!

END

@YoungDuke


#10

Origin of Spider-Man: “Man or Menace?”
Writer: Tony Laplume (@YoungDuke)

PAGE ONE

Panel 1
Peter Parker is handing a batch of new photos (they all feature Spider-Man) to J. Jonah Jameson. He looks nervous. Peter is about 18 years old, still in high school, but he’s already been Spider-Man for several years. Jameson looks completely distracted.

CAPTION: In the beginning, things were different.

PETER: You know, I could just…email these to you.

Panel 2
Jameson is ignoring Peter, so Peter just places the photos on his desk.

CAPTION: In the beginning, J. Jonah Jameson and Peter Parker…They were like father and son. They really were.

PETER: I mean, it’s what…all the cool kids are doing.

Panel 3
Jameson still isn’t giving Peter the time of day but he’s reached for the photos, which he is also not looking at. The perpetual scowl on his face has if anything deepened.

CAPTION: This was before Spider-Man, you understand. Before Peter Parker ever donned the costume. Before he ever had powers.

JAMESON: They’re terrible.

Panel 4
Peter is trying to protest. Jameson has not changed his stance at all.

CAPTION: When he was just another teenage intern at the Daily Bugle.

PETER: But you didn’t even look…!

JAMESON: And just who in the hell are these “cool kids” you’re talking about, anyway?

PAGE TWO

Panel 1
Jameson is flicking through the photos now. His scowl remains.

CAPTION: Jameson took to him immediately. Loved his spunk.

JAMESON. Terrible.

JAMESON: Terrible.

JAMESON: Terrible.

Panel 2
Peter is reaching for the pictures Jameson’s discarded.

CAPTION: Peter was equally impressed. Jameson quickly became the father-figure he’d always craved.

PETER: But these are all perfect! Not one of them’s smudged!

Panel 3
Peter’s singled one from the pack and is trying to draw Jameson’s attention to it.

CAPTION: James challenged him, but in a good way.

PETER: You’ve run dozens of pictures like this one! Always sells like crazy!

JAMESON: Yeah, and what’s your point? It’s been done!

Panel 4
Jameson has grabbed the photo from Peter and is jabbing his cigar at it.

CAPTION: Peter’s ability with a camera was, well, sensational, amazing. Ask him for any shot and he’d give it. He was like that from the start.

JAMESON: The composition’s all wrong! You can’t even tell what’s happening! Is he fighting the Vulture or is he stealing some old lady’s lunch! There’s your headline! “Menace Steals Old Lady’s Lunch!”

PETER: You wouldn’t…use “old lady” in a headline…

Panel 5
Jameson flings the photo aside. Peter is lunging to catch it.

CAPTION: Eager to please, maybe, in the beginning. But it became something much more than that, and quickly.

PETER: But the others…!

JAMESON: Equally terrible! Equally ambiguous! I sell newspapers, not riddles!

PAGE THREE

Panel 1
Peter is gathering the rejected photos. Jameson is sitting back down, again turning his attention away.

CAPTION: Then it happened. The powers. The costume. The superhero.

JAMESON: I’ve been perfectly clear about this, Parker. Spider-Man is a menace! I won’t prostitute this newspaper for a common criminal just because it sells copies!

Panel 2
Jameson sits up again, reaching in his seat and pulling up a stray photo. He looks furious. Well, more furious. Peter is already attempting to reach for it.

CAPTION: It was everything Peter had ever wanted. It was Jameson’s worst nightmare.

PETER: You’ve published Spider-Man on the front of every edition since he appeared.

JAMESON: That’s not the point! We’re drawing a line here, Parker! Not anymore! Not one more picture of that malignant masked menace!

Panel 3
Jameson crumples the photo in his hand.

CAPTION: To Jameson, Spider-Man represented everything that was wrong with the city. The chaos of it, certainly.

JAMESON: If it were up to me, the headline would read “Masked Menace In Jail!”

Panel 4
Jameson tosses the crumpled photo into the garbage.

CAPTION: He’d gone into the newspaper business to try and make sense of it. A long time ago, Jameson had been an eager teenage intern, too.

JAMESON: So long, Spider-Man!

Panel 5
The photo actually misses the garbage can by a few feet. Jameson appears unconcerned.

CAPTION: It was his father, really, who pushed him into it. But not in a good way.

JAMESON: And that would make it a very good day indeed!

PAGE FOUR

Panel 1
Peter is reaching for the crumpled photo.

CAPTION: No, Jameson’s father was everything Jameson wanted to be. And everything he rebelled against, too.

PETER: I’m sorry you feel that way. Chances are the publishers disagree.

Panel 2
Peter is tossing the photo into the garbage.

CAPTION: His father had drilled that need for order into him. Only too well.

JAMESON: I don’t pay you to worry about what the publishers want.

PETER: Actually, you kind of do.

Panel 3
The photo lands in the garbage bin.

CAPTION: Nothing was ever good enough for him. And so Jameson learned to have unrealistic standards.

PETER: That is, when you accept my pictures.

Panel 4
Jameson is looking at Peter, clearly annoyed that he made the shot.

CAPTION: Yeah, it made him a little crazy. Just like the rest of us.

JAMESON: Huh.

JAMESON: Wouldn’t’ve taken you for the athletic type.

PAGE FIVE

Panel 1
Jameson gets up again, grabbing at the photos Peter’s still clutching.

CAPTION: Spider-Man smashed everything Jameson held dear. He made a mockery of the world as Jameson understood it.

JAMESON: We’ll see if any of your pictures can be salvaged…

Panel 2
Jameson has quickly passed Peter, who struggles to catch up.

CAPTION: The worst of it was how much the public embraced Spider-Man. As if rejecting Jameson, like his father, all over again.

PETER: You’re not looking for another trashcan, are you…?

Panel 3
Peter is struggling to keep up with Jameson.

CAPTION: He didn’t hate Spider-Man at first. But he hated him quickly enough.

JAMESON: Oh, for Pete’s sake!

PETER: That’s the general idea, sir.

JAMESON: Figure of speech!

Panel 4
Jameson has abruptly turned around, and Peter has had to stop just as rapidly so he doesn’t run into him.

CAPTION: And the teenage intern who kept bringing him pictures of the menace.

JAMESON: Honestly, what’s so damn important about this menace to you? It’s not as if you’re Spider-Man!

PAGE SIX

Panel 1
Jameson stares at Peter, as if expecting a response.

CAPTION: He didn’t even realize what was happening, at first.

JAMESON: Well?

JAMESON: I didn’t think so.

Panel 2
This panel is squarely on Peter, whom we see upset for the first time. We see an echo of Spider-Man behind him, because of course as we all know, Peter Parker IS Spider-Man.

CAPTION: One minute he looked at Peter with the old gleam in his eye.

Panel 3
Jameson is marching full-steam ahead again. Peter has no choice but to follow.

CAPTION: And the next, his eye began to twitch.

JAMESON: Just once I’d love for you to show some real spine, Parker.

JAMESON: That’s one area where Spider-Man owns you.

PAGE SEVEN

Panel 1
Jameson, barges into Robbie Robertson’s office. Peter lingers outside of it.

CAPTION: It wasn’t even personal. In his zeal to wage war against the menace, Jameson seemed to forget that Peter even existed. He was just another carrier of the Spider-Man contagion.

JAMESON: Talk me off the ledge again, Robbie.

JAMESON: Convince me to publish another of these things.

ROBBIE: Good to see you, too, Jonah.

ROBBIE: Peter.

Panel 2
Peter sheepishly enters the office. Robbie is looking right at him. Jameson is furious.

CAPTION: They were no longer father and son. And Jameson didn’t even seem to notice the effect it had on Peter.

ROBBIE: Of course you’re going to.

Panel 3
Robbie is taking the photos from Jameson.

CAPTION: Others did.

ROBBIE: And you’re going to apologize to Peter for threatening him for doing his job.

Panel 4
Jameson is taking the photos back, brusquely.

CAPTION: The more desperate Peter became, the more outrageous Spider-Man behaved. And the more outraged Jameson was.

JAMESON: I’ll do no such thing!

JAMESON: Honestly, sometimes you seem to forget which one’s the editor and which one’s the publisher.

ROBBIE: I’m not the only one, Jonah.

Panel 5
Robbie is pulling one of the photos back, the one Peter had singled out earlier. Peter looks pleased. Jameson is, well you know, pissed.

CAPTION: But things were never going to be like they had once been.

ROBBIE: This one will do fine.

ROBBIE: Now please, get back to work. We’ve got a city to save, same as anyone else. One paper at a time.

ROBBIE: And don’t forget to pay Peter.

THE END

@YoungDuke


#11

@Shawnmilazzo - “THE AMAZING ARACHNO IN WITH GREAT POWER COMES GREAT RADIOACTIVITY”

Time to “get down to business”.

Here is the “KEY” I use when writing reviews.

(+) = I like it
(-)= Not a fan
(?)= I don’t understand

(+) As far as writing, everyone here has a unique writing style and there are various ways to format the page. Your style here is fun and playful.

(+) As far as story, there’s not much here for me to be critical about or critique. It moved well and I didn’t get stuck on anything.

(-) Electro seem to come out of nowhere. However, this is forgivable due to the “episodic style of storytelling” - I get it, Same bat-time, same bat-channel. :smiley:

All in all a fun story. Thanks for the read.


#12

@Tony_Laplume - “MAN OR MENACE?”

Thanks in advance for the read.

Here is the “KEY” I use when writing a review.

(+)= I like it
(-)= Not a fan
(?)= I don’t understand

(+) As far as writing styles go, I think you have a firm grasp of the medium. Styles/formats vary. I see nothing glaring.

(+) Story is descriptive and things “seem” to be moving along.

(-) In my opinion, not much is HAPPENING. I’m on page 7.

(?) Correct me if I’m wrong, I don’t get the feeling of this being an origin story. I see elements of revelation and recap, just not origin.

Thanks again.


#13

The origin elements are in the captions.


#14

@BeingHenning - “TRUE STORY”

Can’t wait to get at this one, got a lot of good to say. :wink:

Here is the “KEY” I use when writing these things.

(+) = I like it
(-) = Not a fan
(?) = I don’t understand

(+ & -) As far as writing, page 1 panel 1 has some long exposition/description of action. This you or the email process? I ask because the problem quickly disappears. Not much distraction after that.

(+) I like how you played with speech patterns, helped make characters distinctive. Dialogue is witty.

(+) Characters are written well. Each had…character. :smiley:

(+) As far as story, it was fun and engaging.

(+) Clever…ORIGIN “story”…sorta? I LIKE IT!

Great job and thanks for the read.


#15

I get that. I just meant the story as a whole didn’t strike me as an origin story. Sorry if I offend.


#16

Nah. Trying real hard to be a big boy.


#17

That’s essentially a lack of going back to rewrite. As I get into the story, the action becomes more important than a full description of the page so it reads more like a screenplay (which is what I’m used to writing).

On the other hand though, first images are important for me. A comic script - unlike a play and more often screenplay these days - is essentially for artists and editors more than casual readers. So, I put more effort into the essential nature of the images at the beginning with the idea it will inspire the artist to think more about fitting the style to the story from the outset. Little kids walking down a dark street surrounded by abandoned buildings at night needs to be a striking image to suggest impending danger - establish a tension that grows stronger as nothing happens to them while they discuss the “origin” of The Spider-Man. The “Slender-Man” version of Spider-Man on Hector’s phone needs to suggest the same silhouette as Doc Oc’s reveal later. I spend more time on those at the outset so the artist understands they are set ups for pay offs later in the story.

It’s the same for screenplays. In the best films, the images in the opening of a film will mirror the climax so things you see at the end will connect to things you’ve already seen in the first few minutes of the movie.

I probably should’ve polished it. Thanks a lot for reading and the good review. Glad you got it.


#18

I’ll jump right into this one.

@Tony_Laplume - “TIME OF YOUR LIFE”

Here’s the KEY I use when reviewing.

(+) = I like it
(-) = Not a fan
(?) = I don’t understand

(+) As far as writing, everything I said before.
If anything, I’m starting to get a better handle on your style.

(+) Characters were well written and easy to understand.
(Peter seemed a bit of an ass at first. Then, you made me like him again, good job. :blush:)

(+) As for story, I liked it. INTROSPECTIVE is the word that comes to mind. A lot of Spider-Man stories have taken this approach. To keep it fresh and a reader interested is no small feat.

(+) This is a prime example of what I was expecting from this Write Off. You played with elements of the Spider-Man origin and gave us something different but familiar.

Nice work. Thank you for the read.


#19

@Hazardpay - "“SECRET ORIGIN”

Here is the KEY I use when writing reviews.

(+) = I like it
(-) = Not a fan
(?) = I don’t understand

(+) Writing is very descriptive. You guide the reader well in what they see and hear.

[I’ve heard about comic writers like you. Ya know exactly what ya want in each panel.:smiley:]

(+) As story goes, I like it. You did a great job of changing elements around to tell an interesting story.

(+) I didn’t see the stuff with Uncle Ben coming and you slipped in some “education”. “Comic books teach good.” :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:

Nice job. Thanks for the read.


#20

@JRCarter - “STING”

Let’s get at it.

This is the “KEY” I use when reviewing.

(+) = I like it
(-) = Not a fan
(?) = I don’t understand

(+) Writing was clean and “unobtrusive” in the storytelling.

(+) I like how you took something so familiar and gave us, excuse the pun, a “new perspective”.

Nice work.