Apologies that it has taken me so long to notice your thread, especially after you have been so supportive in mine!
You have nailed the story telling aspect of your pages…perfectly.
Even without the words you can follow the entire story…so bravo.
That is one of the hardest things to achieve in comics.
A lot of artists think that it is all about action panels and splash pages, which yes does come into play, but editors need to see that you can take a generic “talky” scene and visualize it in an intriguing way. which you have done, really well.
The story itself looks intriguing too!
You need to work on your perspective and anatomy more, because this is what is bringing some REALLY good pages down slightly.
I’m not an editor, but mistakes on the page away always draw my eye away from the good stuff!
For example the car in the first panel, the angle is off.
Then you have a really good second page…then the on bottom left of the third page the head looking up isn’t right…
When we get to the forth, the last two panels look amazing, especially the bottom left…looks like a deadite from the evil dead!
But the first panel looks like someone else has drawn it, the perspective is off as well as the anatomy.
So, overall what i am noticing is that you are REALLY good a medium panels and close ups, they are great!
And you can draw good hands, which is tough.
But wider and full body panels, they need more work…but you are well on your way, buddy!
Going forward, whatever, you do, don’t try to hide your weaknesses in your art.
A lot of artists try to do this and any good editor will spot these weaknesses right out of the gate.
For example, if an artist is no good at drawing feet, he or she will hide feet behind rocks or cars etc.
But doing stuff like that isn’t going to make you the great artist i know you are…so, i don’t wanna see an entire comic of closes ups!
Some great stuff here and i’m really proud of you!