millarworld.tv Comics Creators

Warren's comics thread. (Critique most welcome)


#1

Hello all, I figured if I was going to start posting here, the best way to start is to put myself out there first. This is a short comic I’ve been working on for a bit. It’s currently with a colorist who is likely to make my pages look tons better when he’s done.

My goal storytelling wise was to try and channel the severe ADD of 1980’s toy commercials.

Anyway, thanks for having me. And by all means let me know what you think.


Anyone up for starting a work shopping group?
Artists tools, tricks and tips
2017 Anthology
#2

I enjoy it and look forward to more. No real critiques. I just like monsters and remember being a kid like that, playing with toys, imagining these massive fights and wishing they were real.


#3

Hi Warren,

Welcome to the board.
I loved that, i thought it was great.
Artwork is beautiful and there is a great twist.

if i can be a negative nelly for one second?!
I was following the story…i got to the end of page two and then as i scrolled down to the start of page three i thought.
“dude, there’s still no dialogue…ok, it still works.”

Then you get the twist at the bottom of page three, which is great,

If it was me and this is just a suggestion…throw in a bit of banter between the monsters.
That way i think the twist will have a bigger pay off, because then you totally don’t expect it.

Also, make the banter really macho and explosive, then at the bottom of page three with the kid.
Have his saying the dialogue, but have it more “kiddy” like he was saying the cool dialogue in his head, but out loud he is a kid saying “i’m gonna Squish you bad, rhino…”

Or ignore me completely because the story already works! :smiley:

i loved it, seriously.

Post more.

Cheers

Matt


#4

This mixed with the nonsense thought of Small Giant Monsters is exactly where this comic came from. The thought process basically led to, if we could make Godzilla and company 4 inches tall, we’d sell them in pet/toy stores.

Thanks for taking the time to read this!


#5

Thanks for reading this. Glad it worked for you.

I’ll be honest I hadn’t given any thought to having the monsters banter with one another… Now that you mention it though, I’m definitely going to have to do one of these where the monsters taunt each other. Maybe do it with a sillier “bad guy” monster, like the kind you see on Power Rangers or Kamen rider. If I theme it right, I could get it to talk like it was a villain from the 1960’s Batman as well, which is a bonus.


#6

that would work too! :smiley:


#7

Yep, the story works pretty darned well.

As for the art, the first page is almost too good, and the other pages pale in comparison. It makes me think that you add this great idea for an opening page, perfectly formed in your mind, and then tried to make a few more pages to flesh it out, but that those pages were more utilitarian in nature, and not as fully coalesced in your imagination. But that could just be me.


#9

The first page was a definite mental hook for me. The thought of just doing a BIG ole drawing of a gorilla with a rhino head is a pretty easy one to get excited about.

Utilitarian is definitely a good term, especially for pages 2-3. I wanted them to be full of action sequences, but also wanted to limit the background information from giving away the punchline. I might not have been as successful at that as I’d set out to be. In the future, now that the cat is out of the bag so to speak on what the monsters are, I can do way more with backgrounds when/if I circle back to this concept.

Thanks a lot for checking this out!

(Sorry for any confusion with replies here. Still trying to get my feet under me on how replying works. This message is meant to be a reply to @Kiel, but when I posted it before I’m not sure that was as obvious as it was upstream. It didn’t list itself as a direct reply anyway.)


#10

The readers here are pretty savvy, don’t worry about it :wink:

I just want to emphasize, though, that it’s less a critique of those other three pages than praise for the first one. Honestly, that first page is better than most commercial comic book artwork that gets produced month-in and month-out. That means you’ve got the chops, for sure, but the other pages show that you’re still finding your voice. Depending on how hard you hit the grindstone, though, you could be producing world-class stuff in a few years, no joke.


#11

I decided it was probably best to change the name of this thread and add stuff here rather than peppering the board with sporadic posts. This is a short comic I put together about this time last year. I teamed up with a couple close friends of mine and made this as a proof of concept to see if we could gel stylistically. I’m responsible for the script and pencils. Roberto Rubet was co-plotter and inker, and Steve McAllister did the colors. Those guys are super talented and I had a blast working with them.So there’s definitely more in the pipeline from us as a group.

But in the meantime, let me know what you think, good or bad. It all helps.


#12

I absolutely love the colours.

(Sorry, that doesn’t mean I don’t also love the art… but it’s the colour pallet that really stood out for me.)


Collaboration Thread
#13

I agree with you 100%. Steve nailed the colors on this in a way I don’t think I could have on my own. I’m incredibly lucky that I know such talented people who are willing to collaborate, that’s for sure!


#14

Looks great! The story is easy to follow, and the pacing is good. When I get to the bottom of the page, I want to see what happens next, so that’s all good.

My critique is not entirely legit, as I am only seeing a few pages, but I thought it while reading it, so I’ll say it.

Some of the captions are fine, but some can be said in less words. Also, all of the captions (well, almost all of them,) are referring to exactly what he is doing at that moment. Since they are his thoughts, and thoughts wander, you can use them to give us a wider scope of who he is as a character. If I were in his shoes, I would be thinking of family, hope I make it back because the new Star Wars is in three days, etc.

With four pages, it moves quickly and is a fun read, but ultimately, it is the character that will keep us attached/reading. Again, not a legit critique, because I was interested the whole time. Just thinking if it continued that way…


#15

Thank you for taking the time to read it!

I agree with you wholeheartedly on the way this was written. If we took this setting further the first thing that would have to happen is this pilot would have to encounter someone or something to talk to. Even if it was just the on board computer or something. If for no other reason than to try to avoid having the guy think to himself “All my friends are dead” over and over. That could certainly get pretty navel gaze-y. (Even Tom Hanks needed the volley ball to talk to)


Official Feedback for 2015 MW Annual Submissions
#16

Ha ha! Yes, Wilson in space.


#17

So these are a relative rarity for me these days. I don’t draw a lot of superheroes any more. But thought I’d try my hand at some sketch cards. These are watercolor and rapidograph on straight out of the pack strathmore sketch cards if anyone is keeping score at home.

It’s kind of fun drawing 3 1/2" tall pinups.





#18

I love the concept and art on this. Honestly, what kid did’t give his toys personalities of their own? haha

The twist at the end is great. I agree with @mattgarvey1981 about not having any dialog at first. Would be interesting if there was some toy banter in the beginning…just to clue us in to the world a bit and balance out the whole story. Color will be really important once you get it in there to selling the look that you’re going for. Overall great job!


#19

Thanks for taking the time to look!

It’s super interesting to me to get feedback from fresh eyes. And like I mentioned to Matt, the notion of the monsters talking to one another never even occurred to me.

If I ever do more Little Giant Monster stories, you best believe they’re going to be bantering it up!


#20

I think you have a lot of potential. Keep up the great work.

It wouldn’t be right for me to offer any critical feedback because you are about a thousand times better at drawing than me.

Keep them coming. I would love to see more.


#21

Thanks so much for taking the time to look!

Also don’t be shy with feedback. I don’t treat it as a competition at all.