So GTA 5… What a pile o’ shite that was.
I don’t think any game will match it for the sheer shit that was its idea of an opening mission(s) and that pretty much set the tone from then on.
I’m supposed to believe that someone who planned a heist included as part of their plan a car that’s fucking miles away from the place being robbed? I died on that bit about 5 times before it became apparent as to where the fucking car actually was.
Then there’s a pile o’ shit drive section that shows the much talked of drive controls haven’t actually been improved, they’re as crap as ever. The map relative to screen shows the age of GTA, they couldn’t put an indicator on the actual game screen? No, course not.
Still, it would get better with Michael’s first mission, right? Oh yeah, if only - first it has this dumb arse follow your friend crap, then it’s escape from the super-cops, which have killed my interest in it. It sells itself as this daring, criminal game and then it sticks in cops that Judge Dredd would be in awe of. Did escape them, but fun? Nope, nothing of the kind.
So, once I was clear of the all the mandatory bullshit, I tried going for the play around option and it just… well, died. That every single car is this immovable obstacle really undermines the physics, I had a whacking great truck being stopped by a car a tenth its size.
So let’s recap:
- Car controls? Crap.
- Combat controls? Pretty crap and you die in two shots while the cops take about 10.
- Graphics? Adequate but nowhere near what it was talked of.
- Fun? Fuck no.
Might get 80% of my cash by selling the fucker.