millarworld.tv Comics Creators

Typtober is Alive


#21

PAGE TEN – FIVE PANELS

PANEL ONE
Flashback. The Golem is stomping towards the family. Miner #1 stands in front of the creature with his hand up ’stop’.

MINER #1: I order you to stop!

PANEL TWO
Flashback. The Golem grabs Miner #1’s head in his huge hand, holding him off the ground, and with his mouth at Miner #1’s neck. The rest are the family are huddled in a corner, frightened out of their wits.

NO DIALOGUE

PANEL THREE
Flashback. The Golem leans over the miner’s wife’s prone body – mouth at her neck, while the other hand is clamped over the son’s head, his legs dangling limply. The Golem is slightly less rough-hewn. The daughter is escaping through the door.

CAPTION: MY CREATOR’S BLOOD WAS NOT ENOUGH TO QUENCH MY THIRST FOR REVENGE.

PANEL FOUR
Flashback. The Golem looks at himself in the mirror and sees that he has become more human in his looks. The lifelesss bodies of Miner #1, his wife and his son are sprawled on the floor

GOLEM: BLOOD. I NEED MORE HUMAN BLOOD.

PANEL FIVE
Flashback. An even smoother Golem stomps down the street of a small mining village. It’s gripping a man’s head in each hand, and a couple of broken bodies are lying in the street. A pair of miners are bashing the Golem with spades to no effect, while the rest of the village runs away in fear.

NO DIALOGUE


#22

PAGE ELEVEN – FIVE PANELS

PANEL ONE
Flashback. The Golem stomps after half-a-dozen miners - two are sprinting ahead, while the other four are staying temptingly just out of his reach.

CAPTION: I WAS STILL UNAWARE OF THE DEVIOUS SCHEMES THAT COMES NATURALLY TO YOUR KIND.

PANEL TWO
Flashback. The four chased miners enter the mine’s main entrance. The two out-runners are peeping from either side of the mine entrance, unseen by the Golem, who is focussed on the four. Explosives have been placed either side of the entrance.

NO DIALOGUE

PANEL THREE
Flashback. The four miners and the Golem have fully entered the mine. The two hidden miners have just lit the explosives’ fuses and are sprinting away, arms over their heads.

NO DIALOGUE

PANEL FOUR
Flashback. From inside the dark mine the Golem’s silhouette can be seen in the brilliant flash of the explosion.

CAPTION: AN INVISIBLE HAND PUSHED ME INTO A CREVICE FROM WHICH I COULD NOT ESCAPE.

PANEL FIVE
Thee of the coal dust-covered miners are outside at the top of the shaft (where the kids went down into the mine), pulling the fourth miner out.

NO DIALOGUE


#23

PAGE ELEVEN: CAMP PELLUCID. EXT. NIGHT

  1. The maniac is rolling on the floor scratching himself frantically.
    CAPTION: Well this just took another dumb turn.
  2. Pull in closer on the maniac to show the intensity of his scratching.
    CAPTION: Lighten up, Becca, It’s funny.
  3. Extreme close up of the maniac’s hand scratching.
    CAPTION: But it’s meant to be scary…that’s the point.
    CAPTION: Fine, Becca, scare us.
  4. We are looking directly down at the Maniac, who is breathing a huge sigh of relief.
    CAPTION: First of all, he didn’t die from Poison Oak…that’s just stupid.
    And he didn’t have a machete

#24

Apologies for breaking the chain but you know what would be fun. If you took a page each and riff off each other.
Beautiful chaos!!!


#25

No…
It’s hard enough writing a page a day…so weird…feels clunky…I’m used to writing 8-10 in a session.


#26

Yeah, I’d be dead without my outline. I have a sentence or two pre-planned (like prompts :thinking:) about what each page should contain, but even then the story evolves or, like just now, one outline page becomes three script pages :sweat:


#27

yeah, i have a bullet point outline of where the story is going…but it feels so fragmented writing like this.
I’m used to sitting down and just pumping out a load of pages in one go…can’t do that with this though…would be cheating! :wink:


#28

PAGE TWELVE: CAMP PELLUCID. EXT. NIGHT
Three long wide panels.

  1. We are sideways on as we see the maniac who is up on his feet again and pushing his through the trees. His arm furthest away from “us” is extended fully as holds back a long rubbery branch.

CAPTION: As with all great horror stories, our maniac is tragic man and as much a victim if not more than the people he demands retribution from.

  1. As above but switch to the other side of the maniac as his arm holding the branch disappears from the forearm down. SFX POP

CAPTION: He lost his arm in a terrible boating accident that was caused by a group of kids screwing around on the lake…

  1. Flip back to the original side from panel one as we see the maniac get hit squarely and painfully by the branch he was holding, knocking him towards the ground again. SFX FWACK

CAPTION: …and he drowned ten years ago…this very night.


#29

PAGE TWELVE – FIVE PANELS

PANEL ONE
Back in the present. The Golem is reaching towards the three terrified kids huddled in the corner of the kitchen.

GOLEM: YOUR REWARD FOR RELEASING ME WILL BE A QUICK AND ALMOST PAINLESS DEATH.

RUBY: You’re not really selling this too well.
(LINK): She wouldn’t want a monster like you even if she was still alive.

PANEL TWO
The Golem stands erect, contemplating Ruby’s words.

GOLEM: WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

RUBY: The miner’s daughter has been dead for decades.

BENJAMIN: It’s true. That mine was sealed over a hundred years ago.

PANEL THREE
The Golem smashes the dining room table into smithereens with a mighty double-fisted blow. The kids flinch from witnessing such preternatural power.

GOLEM: I HAD NO CONCEPT OF THE PASSAGE OF TIME. MY QUEST IS OVER.

PANEL FOUR
The Golem has turned to face the three petrified kids in an aggressive stance.

GOLEM: I WILL KILL EVERY HUMAN THAT CROSSES MY PATH 'TIL NONE REMAIN.

BENJAMIN: Run!

PANEL FIVE
The Golem has trapped a cowering Jasper, Ruby and Benjamin having ducked either side the lumbering monster.

GOLEM: YOU CANNOT ESCAPE.
(LINK): I SHALL DRINK 'TIL YOU ARE NOUGHT BUT A HUSK.


#30

PAGE THIRTEEN – FIVE PANELS

PANEL ONE
The Golem puts its arm out towards Jasper, who is lifting a dusty, cobwebbed, heavy cooking pot from the kitchen surface. From behind the Golem, Benjamin points to the dirty rolled up piece of paper lodged in the Golem’s ear.

BENJAMIN: The paper. We have to remove the paper.

PANEL TWO
The pot thrown by Jasper bounces off the Golem’s chest to no effect, Jasper is already half-way into a cupboard. Ruby has leaped onto the Golem’s back and is making a grab for the nomenclature paper.

GOLEM: ACCEPT YOUR FATE, LITTLE ONE.

RUBY: Not if I can help it.

PANEL THREE
The Golem grabs Ruby’s outstretched arm.

NO DIALOGUE

PANEL FOUR
Ruby has landed in a heap on the kitchen surface above the cupboard that Jasper has fully inserted himself into. A determined Benjamin smashes a wooden chair accross the Golem’s back.

BENJAMIN: Leave them alone!

PANEL FIVE
The unphased Golem turns to Benjamin, who is looking at the crumpled Ruby while pointing to his own ear.

GOLEM: I WILL DRINK YOUR BLOOD FIRST, IF YOU WISH.

BENJAMIN: Ruby! Your lighter!


#31

PAGE FOURTEEN – FIVE PANELS

PANEL ONE
The Golem grabs Benjamin’s head, lifting him off the ground.Ruby has launched herself onto the Golem’s back again, this time with her cigarette lighter in flame-thrower mode, just about igniting the paper in the Golem’s ear.

RUBY: Smoke this!

PANEL TWO
The Golem’s head is a fireball. Ruby is leaping from the Golem’s back. The Golem has released Benjamin’s head – he’s dropping to the floor.

NO DIALOGUE

PANEL THREE
The Golem’s feet are rooted to the ground and it topples towards Benjamin as the fire spreads down the its shoulders and part-way down its torso. Benjamin is sprawled on the floor, covering his head with his arms as he looks up at the falling monster.

NO DIALOGUE

PANEL FOUR
The Golem shatters as it hits the tiled floor. The Golem’s detached, flaming head has hit the floor just a metre from Benjamin’s coal-smudged head, looking like it’ll carry on rolling.

NO DIALOGUE

PANEL FIVE
The Golem’s flaming head has ended up close to Benjamin’s face, its lifeless eyes looking into Bejamin’s. A smirking Ruby and a gob-smacked Jasper stand over their prone cousin.

RUBY: You were right all along Benji.
(LINK): Smoking is bad for you.


#32

PAGE FIFTEEN – SIX PANELS

PANEL ONE
The three kids are sitting in the living room of Benjamin’s parents’ farm, cleaned up and wearing fresh clothes.

BENJAMIN: How did you know its head wouldn’t roll into me?

RUBY: I didn’t.
(LINK): Why did you lie about bringing the tools down the ladder?

BENJAMIN: I didn’t.

PANEL TWO
Close up of Ruby narrowing her eyes, scrutinising whether straight man Benji is joking or not.

NO DIALOGUE

PANEL THREE
Benjamin’s mum, Clare brings in a tray holding three mugs of hot chocolate drink.

CLARE: I can’t believe how much coal you three brought back.
(LINK): It looked like there was a dead body in that sack when I first saw it.

RUBY: How do you know there isn’t?

PANEL FOUR
Clare starts to poke the fire, which is dying down. Benjamin and Jasper grab their mugs from the tray on the coffee table.

CLARE: Seriously kids, that lot will last us more than a week.
(LINK): So, seeing as there’s no need to be stingy, could one of you pass me some coal please?

PANEL FIVE
Ruby has her hand in the open coal sack that’s sitting on the edge of the large hearth.

RUBY: Sure thing, Auntie Clare.

PANEL SIX
A grinning Ruby has pulled out one of the Golem’s hands from the sack. Benjamin and Jasper nearly choke on their hot chocolate. Clare is still poking the fire, blissfully unaware.

RUBY: I’ll give you a hand.


END


#33

well done, buddy!

I’m a little behind…life, day job and other comic projects have gotten in the way the last few days, but i’ll catch up soon!


#34

I may be struggling for a couple of days. I think I have another short story idea with notes attached which might do the rest of the month, but I need to chunk it into a decent outline else I’ll get my knickers in a twist over the complexities :exploding_head:.

Plus, I have an appointment tomorrrow evening at the eye hospital to discuss laser eye treatment (you know, treatment for my laser eyes. :star_struck: ).


#35

OK, so I had almost two hours of (literal) poking and prodding of my eyes at the eye hospital yesterday evening, including the obligatory pupil dilation drops, which meant yesterday was a no go for writing. However, I’ve managed to rough out a 16-part outline for this next short. The tone is a little darker than the last one…

I feel like page one is a bit of a place-holder because I’m not settled on the ending yet, and it will no doubt be edited heavily once I know what happens in the end. If I get chance, I’ll put page two up later.

Additional: following Piers Morgan’s latest cry for help on Twitter, I couldn’t help but include the object of his derision on page one.


SINS OF THE FATHERS - 1ST DRAFT
WRITTEN BY ANDREW WILLIAMSON

PAGE ONE – FIVE PANELS

PANEL ONE
CHRISTOPHER HAYDEN is walking into the family living room, decorated with balloons and birthday cards, from the hall with his one-year-old son TOBY in a papoose. Toby is wide-awake, arms and legs outstretched, looking at his mum SOPHIE, who is standing on the sofa sticking balloons up on the wall.

CHRISTOPHER: Sorry, Sophe. I reckon this Toby-monster knows full-well something’s going on.
(LINK): There was zero chance of him taking an afternoon nap.

SOPHIE: Well, he won’t now he’s seen the balloons, Chris.

PANEL TWO
Sophie is standing on the carpet facing Chris and Toby. Chris is lifting Toby out of the papoose.

CHRISTOPHER: The others aren’t arriving for a couple of hours, yet.

SOPHIE: But it’s going to make preparing for his party damn near impossible.

PANEL THREE
Chris has passed a very excited Toby to Sophie and is walking away with the papoose.

CHRISTOPHER: I tried my best.

SOPHIE: I know. I know.
(LINK): I have s–.

PANEL FOUR
Chris is hanging the papoose on a coat stand in the hall.

CHRISTOPHER: What did you say?

SOPHIE: I have something to tell you.
(LINK): Something important to tell you.
(LINK): Before the guests arrive.

PANEL FIVE
Christopher looks at the front door, which can be seen through the open living room door. F/X: KNOCK-KNOCK-KNOCK (before dialogue)

CHRISTOPHER: Ooh. Sounds intriguing. It’ll have to wait, sweetheart. There’s someone knocking.


#36

PAGE TWO – SIX PANELS

PANEL ONE
Christopher has opened the door, and finds smartly-dressed, middle-aged DAVID MARSHALL on the door step.

MARSHALL: Good afternoon, sir. My name is David Marshall.
(LINK): I’m looking for Mr Christopher Hayden.

CHRISTOPHER: You found him.

PANEL TWO
On Christopher and Marshall.

MARSHALL: I have news of your father.

CHRISTOPHER: Unlikely. I called in at his house not ten minutes ago.

PANEL THREE
Marshall is reaching into his inside jacket pocket.

MARSHALL: I’m talking about your biological father, Paul Kenning.

CHRISTOPHER: I never new my birth father. Or mother for that matter.
(LINK): This Kenning could be anyone.

PANEL FOUR
Marshall is handing over a small photograph to Christopher. Sophie is standing at the living room door, holding Toby and listening in on the conversation. She is unable to see the image from her point of view.

MARSHALL: Mr. Kenning provided enough evidence of your, um, difficult start in life.

PANEL FIVE
Close in. Christopher looks at the photograph (not visible to the reader). He has his hand over his mouth, stunned by what he sees. His eyes are welling up.

NO DIALOGUE

PANEL SIX
The hand in which Christopher is holding the photgraph has dropped to his side. Sophie has stepped forward, and is standing next to Christopher. She is looking doen at the photograph, but she is unable to see the image.

SOPHIE: Christopher? What’s happening?

CHRISTOPHER: Wh-Where is he?

MARSHALL: We need to leave urgently.
(LINK): There isn’t much time, if you know what I mean.