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Typtober is Alive


#1

Well, i’m not an artist (i know that’s not the point but i can’t even draw a bath) so instead of doing Inktober i shall be embarking on my own invention of Typetober where everyday i shall post a written panel from an all-ages horror comic i’m writing! :wink:
So, everyday i’ll be adding to this thread with my story…i’m already two days in…

Free free to join me!

CAMP BLEH #1 1ST DRAFT

WRITTEN BY MATT GARVEY

PAGE ONE: CAMP PELLUCID. EXT. NIGHT

  1. Three Equal wide panels on this page, please. Establishing “We” are on the lake of Camp Pellucid as we look towards shore as if we were a boat just left floating. The water looks eerily quiet. We can see a typical rickety summer camp dock to the left side of the panel and more towards the right we can see we campfire and four small silhouettes sitting around it. These are our four child protagonists, we cannot see them yet, but they are all around eleven years old, (from left to right in their seated positions) CHRIS a skinny little black kid. JACK an equally skinny white kid, SETH a little white rotund child and BECCA and skinny geeky looking red-headed girl with big glasses, who is obviously the smartest of the group. Beyond where the kids are sitting is a wooded area.

  2. As above but we pull in closer to our protagonists, and we can just start to see them sitting around the fire.

  3. Final wide panel of the page. We can now fully see all our protagonists, sitting on individual sideways logs around the campfire. Sitting there in shorts and t-shirts, each holding a long stick with melting marshmallows leaning over the fire. They all look miserable, except Seth who looks mesmerised by the melting treat and is licking his lips (but his feet is a rucksack). Chris has his head resting on his hand, JACK has his head leaning back looking like Charlie Brown when he screams and BECCA has her cheeks puffed out like she is blowing air out of her mouth to accentuate her boredom. Becca also has a rucksack next to her feet.

JACK: This is soooooooo boring.

CHRIS: I can’t believe that counsellor took our phones away.

PAGE TWO: CAMP PELLUCID. EXT. NIGHT

  1. Full panel of Seth with a mouth full of melted marshmallow, he has as much around his mouth as he does inside it. He is trying to talk with his mouth full and failing.

SETH: Wh Cwwwd always dwell gwhost stowies?

  1. Cut to Becca looking up and towards Seth, unimpressed with him talking with his mouth full.

BECCA: DON’T talk with your mouth full, Seth.
It’s rude.

  1. Cut back to Seth wiping his mouth with his forearm.

SETH: Sorry, Becca.
I said we could always tell ghost stories?

  1. Cut to a panel of Chris and Jack. Chris has his head in his hands and Jack is rolling his eyes.

CHRIS: I can’t believe we’ve come to THIS already.

  1. Cut back to Seth who is now rummaging in his rucksack by his feet.

SETH: Don’t be like that, Chris, it’ll be fun.

  1. Pull in closer on Seth as he pulls a torch out of his rucksack.

SETH: Yes.
Found it.


#2

PAGE THREE: CAMP PELLUCID. EXT. NIGHT

  1. Close up of Seth’s sinister looking face with the torch eerily lighting him from below.

SETH: Did you know this camp is built on a forgotten Native American graveyard?

  1. Cut to JACK looking unimpressed.

JACK: That’s a bit obvious, ain’t it?

  1. Pull out to show Seth looking annoyed, now with the touch facing towards Jack who is looking sarcastically smug.

SETH: No, Chris, it’s not…I’m eleven…ELEVEN.
I’m too young to read a Stephen King book…so to me its original.
Can I continue?

CHRIS: Sure, why now not…this is so much better than playing BrickCraft.

  1. Same as panel one.

SETH: As I was saying…
…and when they were building the camp one of the original camp counsellors died HORRIFICALLY.


#3

PAGE FOUR: CAMP PELLUCID. EXT. NIGHT

  1. Cut to a bird’s eye view looking down on a patch of dirt on the forest area a couple of hundred yards behind the children in the wooded area.

CAPTION: How?

CAPTION: How what?

  1. As above, but pull in closer to the patch of dirt.

CAPTION: How did he die?

CAPTION: I dunno, he just died…construction health and safety weren’t great back then.

  1. Cut back to an extreme close up of Seth holding the touch under his chin looking evil.

SETH: But when the camp decided to cover up the accident, they didn’t know the victim’s final words were…

  1. Cut back to the patch of dirt in close up as a Zombie hand comes bursting out “Carrie” style.

CAPTION: …“I’ll be back.”


#4

Great stuff, Matt. I’ll join you, if only because a children’s horrror short story I’ve been working on has an exact same phrase on page one that yours has. My dad’s funeral was on Tuesday, so I’m a little behind. I’ll post a couple of pages a day until I’m caught up. I reckon it’ll be 12ish pages long, but I have another short I want to write that might do most of the rest of the month…

FOSSIL - 1ST DRAFT
WRITTEN BY ANDREW WILLIAMSON

PAGE ONE – FIVE PANELS

PANEL ONE
Establishing shot of the living room of a run-down farmhouse with lighted coal fire, peeling wallpaper and tea chests full of objects wrapped in newspaper. The living room door is closed. RUBY, a 14-year-old rebel-without-a-clue, is leaning against the one small window in the room, facing into the room, and playing with an old chrome cigarette lighter on flame-thrower mode. Her brother JASPER, 10 years old and unmanageable hair, is kneeling on the floor unfolding newspaper revealing an expensive-looking ornament. Their cousin BENJAMIN, 13, clean-cut and compliant, looks worried about both situations.

BENJAMIN: Jasper, please don’t do that. My mum said not to unpack anything.

JASPER: I’ll be careful. how much is it worth? I bet it cost a bomb.

RUBY: Doesn’t matter anyway, Jasper. Uncle Tony and Aunt Clare are leaving their capitalist past behind.

PANEL TWO
Benjamin grabs the ornament from Jasper. Ruby passes her hand palm-up over the flame, the hair on her hand is singeing. The door is opening.

BENJAMIN: Please don’t cause any more trouble, Jasper. mum’s still pissed about knocking her orchid over.

RUBY: You can’t blame him, Benji. there’s nothing to do around here. it’s sooo boring.

PANEL THREE
Benjamin’s mum CLARE, a rich, faux hippy, has entered the room with HER plastic smile, and immediately grabs the ornament from her son. Ruby is startled, and is holding the now closed lighter behind her back, while holding her hand to her mouth. Jasper looks the complete innocent.

CLARE: Benji. I told you not to unpack anything. This is all for auction.

BENJAMIN: Mum, I asked you not to call me that.

CLARE: You’ll be pleased to know you won’t be bored now the weather’s cleared up.
(LINK): I’ve got a lovely little adventure for you all.

PANEL FOUR
Ruby rolls her eyes. Clare analyses the ornament for damage.

RUBY: Can’t wait.

CLARE: I want you to dig up as much coal as you can carry from the open cast mine.

RUBY: I thought this was supposed to be a carbon-free zone.

PANEL FIVE
Clare glares at Ruby.

CLARE: The picks and sack are in the coal shed. It’ll be fun.


PAGE TWO – FIVE PANELS

PANEL ONE
Establishing shot of the hilly, Welsh countryside. Nothing of any interest lies between here and the silhouetted hills on the horizon. Benjamin, carrying the picks and sack, walks beside Ruby, watching her as she lights the cigarette hanging from her lips with her lighter. Jasper is standing some way behind, holding his jacket in one hand while bent over picking up a big clod of earth with the other.

BENJAMIN: You shouldn’t be doing that.

RUBY: I’m an addict, so I’m excused.
(LINK): I bet you’d like it if you tried it.

PANEL TWO
Ruby offers the cigarette to Benjamin. Jasper has his head down a hole in the ground where he’d picked up the clod.

BENJAMIN: Not bloody likely. Not with my asthma.

RUBY: You haven’t got asthma. You’re the only child of weirdo parents who’ve probably got Munchausen Syndrome by proxy.

JASPER: Hey, you two. Come and have-

PANEL THREE
Ruby and Benjamin have turned to see what Jasper is on about, but he’s not there. Jasper’s jacket is lying on the ground.

RUBY: Jasper?

PANEL FOUR
Ruby and Benjamin sprint over to Jasper’s jacket. The hole Jasper uncovered is obvious to them as they approach.

RUBY: Jasper!

BENJAMIN: OHMYGOD! I think he’s fallen in.
(LINK): Your Mum’ll kill me.

PANEL FIVE
Ruby’s cheeks are sucked in as she tales a huge drag from her cigarette. Benjamin’s head is down the hole.

BENJAMIN: You’re not going to believe this – there’s a ladder going down.


#5

I’m sorry to hear that Drew. Condolences.


#6

Awwwwww, dude.
I’m so sorry to hear that!
I hope you are ok?


#7

PAGE FIVE: CAMP PELLUCID. EXT. NIGHT

  1. From a downward angle we see the zombie with his hands at either side flat on the ground pushing his torso up from the disturbed dirt below. *With regards to the Zombie’s look, think more Simpsons Halloween special rather than Walking Dead…it’s a kid’s comic after all.

CAPTION: And then one night…in fact, very much like tonight…HE RETURNED…

  1. We are now looking directly at the Zombie as he faces “us” and licks his lips.

CAPTION: …as the creature escaped his shallow grave…in the distance

  1. Wide panel. We are now behind the Zombie’s head and shoulders as he looks towards our group of kids a couple of hundred feet away through the trees

CAPTION: …he could see a group of helpless kids sitting around a campfire…

ZOMBIE: Brains…

CAPTION: …all blissfully unaware that their impending doom approached.

CAPTION: Oh, come on…

  1. Another wide panel at the bottom of the page. But this time we are facing the kids on the beach again and between Chris and Jack far in the distance we can see the zombie slowly walking towards them. Both Chris and Jack look bored by the story. To the left side of the panel we can see Seth, still with the torch under his face, but now looking perplexed by the moans of his buddies. Becca is on the far right rolling her eyes.

SETH: What now?

JACK: Are you serious…Zombies…really?

BECCA: Talk about a clichéd story using a creature that let’s face it has oversaturated all forms of media.


#8

Next two pages…

PAGE THREE – FIVE PANELS

PANEL DESIGN
Here we go. See what you think of this layout concept. This page’s background is a static cross-section of a hand cut mine shaft and tunnel. Imagine a nine-panel grid, but only the L-shaped, five left-hand and lower panels have action content. The remaining upper/right four panel’s worth is a single, non-action panel with underground items as you see fit (sheep skeletons, bits of ancient pottery, etc. - have a ball!).

PANEL ONE
Ruby and Benjamin are climbing down the old wooden ladder attached to the narrow shaft – Benjamin first. Light from the hole above soon loses it strength farther down the ladder.

RUBY: If Jasper’s hurt, I’m so going to sue your wacko parents.

BENJAMIN: They’re not wacko, and he’s not hurt.

PANEL TWO
Still on the ladder, and much darker.

RUBY: How far down does it go? We’ve done miles.

BENJAMIN: The pits around here are hand dug. It won’t be that deep.

PANEL THREE
At the shaft bottom. Ruby is using the torch app on her mobile phone (facing page right), but its light doesn’t reach far – it’s dark, very dark.

BENJAMIN: The mine was probably dug from the valley side. It just seems deep from up there.

RUBY: The good news for you is that Jasper’s broken body isn’t here.

PANEL FOUR
Ruby and Benjamin walk down the tunnel that leads from the ladder, in the short glow of phone-light. F/X: TAPTAPTAPTAPTAP (before dialogue.)

BENJAMIN: Hear that? It must be Jasper.
(LINK): Y’know, this must be the old mine that was abandondened over a hundred years ago.

RUBY: Abandoned? Why? There’s loads of coal left.

PANEL FIVE
Benjamin has pulled Ruby’s hand, still holding the cell phone, so the light is shining up from under his chin making his face look spooky. F/X: TAPTAPTAPTAPTAP (after dialogue.)

BENJAMIN: There was a spate of horrific murders in the village. The villagers trapped the murderer in the pit, and sealed it so he would starve to death.
(LINK): The whole village relocated to another valley and the pit was never reopened.


PAGE FOUR – FIVE PANELS

PANEL ONE
Ruby snatches her hand and cell away from Benjamin.

RUBY: You’re making the tapping noise. Not funny, Benji. My brother’s missing.

BENJAMIN: I swear it wasn’t me.
(LINK): It sounded like it was just ahead.

PANEL TWO
Ruby and Benjamin continue down the pitch black tunnel, and Jasper’s feet appear at the limit of the light cone. F/X: TAPTAPTAPTAPTAP (before dialogue.)

BENJAMIN: See? I told you it was him.

RUBY: Why didn’t you stay at the bottom of the ladder, you little idiot?

PANEL THREE
Jasper looks completely nonplussed at his sister and cousin as they approach in the narrow tunnel.

JASPER: Because I heard the tapping.

RUBY: What do you mean heard the tapping? You were doing the tapping.
(LINK): Weren’t you?

PANEL FOUR
Jasper has switched on his own mobile torch app, and is pointing at the tunnel wall. Protruding from the wall is the shape of a man, carved into the coal (the GOLEM) in such a way that it looks like he’s trying to escape from the wall. In one hand the Golem is holding a hammer, and in the other is a chisel, which is touching the wall (it was doing the tapping).

JASPER: Nope. It was him.
(LINK): He needs our help to get out.

RUBY: The carving? Did you bang your head on the way down, squirt?

PANEL FIVE
The Golem’s hammer-holding arm has moved. Ruby and Benjamin have jumped back, startled.

GOLEM: THE BOY IS UNINJURED, BUT I AM STUCK IN THIS GODFORSAKEN PLACE.


#9

… and I’m up-to-date :slight_smile:

PAGE FIVE – FIVE PANELS

PANEL ONE
Ruby and Benjamin peer closer at the Golem.

RUBY: Jesus. How long have you been stuck down here? You’re covered in coaldust.

BENJAMIN: Grab an arm each. See if we can pull him out.

JASPER: Hey. Let me. I found him.

PANEL TWO
Ruby is yanking the Golem by one wrist, and Benjamin the other.

BENJAMIN: I’m pulling as hard as I can.

RUBY: Well, pull harder. You’re such a wimp.

PANEL THREE
Ruby and Benjamin have let go of the Golem, and are puzzling on how to set him free.

BENJAMIN: You’re jammed in solid, sir.
(LINK): Hey, what about our tools?

RUBY: Still on the surface, dummy.
(LINK): Stay here, squirt. We’ll be right back.

PANEL FOUR
Ruby and Benjamin are at the bottom of the shaft ladder. Their sack and tools are there.

RUBY: You must have brought them down after all.

BENJAMIN: I did no such thing.
(LINK): Perhaps it was the Coblynau.

RUBY: The what?

PANEL FIVE
Ruby and Benjamin are running back through the tunnel with the sack and tools.

BENJAMIN: Coblynau. Mine faeries. Mischievous knee-high guys dressed in mining gear.
(LINK): They were known for stealing tools. We must have disturbed them.

RUBY: You really are a prize clown.


PAGE SIX – SIX PANELS

PANEL ONE
The Ruby and Benjamin are using small picks to chip away at the coal around the Golem. An apprehensive Jasper watches while holding an ever-dimmer cell phone light.

JASPER: Careful.

RUBY: Just hold the light steady.

PANEL TWO
Ruby’s pick takes a chunk out of the Golem’s thigh.

NO DIALOGUE

PANEL THREE
Closer in on the thigh in question and Ruby’s shocked reaction. There’s a tennis ball-sized chunk missing from the Golem’s thigh.

RUBY: Oh my God!
(LINK): I.m so sorry.

GOLEM: WORRY NOT. I FEEL NO PAIN.
(LINK): PULL ME AGAIN. I CAN FEEL A LOOSENING.

PANEL FOUR
All three kids pull at the Golem.

JASPER: Pull harder.

PANEL FIVE
The man is free of the coal seam. Small bits of coal debris fall from where the Golem was jammed in.

GOLEM: AT LAST. FREEDOM.

PANEL SIX
Benjamin points in the direction of the shaft with the ladder. Jasper is goggle-eyed at the Golem (in the gloom looks like a man entirely covered in coaldust).

BENJAMIN: We should head back to the ladder before the light dies.

GOLEM: NOT THAT WAY.
(LINK): I HAVE A PRIVATE TUNNEL THAT LEADS TO MY COTTAGE.


#10

I’m a page behind because I fell asleep this afternoon…I think I’m suffering from exhaustion :tired_face:
I’ll post two tomorrow…promise


#11

PAGE SIX: CAMP PELLUCID. EXT. NIGHT
Nine panel Watchmen style grid formation.

  1. The Zombie is staggering towards “us” looking a bit scary (not too scary…kids comic!), arms out in front of him.

CAPTION: It is?

  1. The Zombie stops in his tracks like he can actually hear what the kids are saying. He looks confused.

ZOMBIE: Brains?

  1. The Zombie is looking downwards with his arms by his sides and his palms out as his he is saying to himself “me?”

CAPTION: Zombies are stupid…the whole genre feels like its walking dead.

4 Black Panel. SFX POP

CAPTION: Gimmie that flashlight, I got an idea…

  1. The Zombie has not turned into a classic old school vampire. Think a cartoon version of Bela Lugosi. Combed hair, cape…the works.

CAPTION: …what about a Vampire?
Vampires are cool.

  1. Extreme close up of the vampire’s mouth as he touches the bottom of his left fang with his tongue, realising what he has now turned into.

CAPTION: Hello, you never seen those films where those teenagers do nothing but stare?

  1. Pull out to a full body shot to show the vampire about to leap towards “us” like he is about to fly and attack.

CAPTION: Ok, I’ve got one.

  1. Blank panel. SFX POP

CAPTION: How about a…

PAGE SEVEN: CAMP PELLUCID. EXT. NIGHT
Another nine panel Watchmen style grid formation.

  1. The vampire has now turned into a cartoon werewolf. The Werewolf has landed on the floor with a cartoonish thump…because werewolves can’t fly!

CAPTION: …Werewolf?

  1. Close up of the werewolf’s face, head tilted to one side looking like a confused dog.

CAPTION: No…that sucks as bad as the vampire.

  1. Blank panel. SFX POP

CAPTION: Well, you think of a scarier monster.

CAPTION: Ok, I will.

  1. The werewolf has now turned into a Mummy. I’m talking full on Mummy like it he has been wrapped in bandages…not Arnold Vosloo. The Mummy is looking down at his hands still confused about what is happening.

CAPTION: What about a Mummy?

  1. Angry, the Mummy is lurching towards “us” not realising he has loose bandages flapping around behind him.

CAPTION: I have met your mom and she IS really scary.

  1. Extreme close up of one of his bandaged getting snagged on a tree branch behind him.

CAPTION: No, you moron…a Mummy.

  1. From a high angle we can see that the snagged bandage is now about 10 feet long. The Mummy with his back to us, if dramatically pulling on the bandage. Leaning backwards as he pulls, feet pointed upwards as his heels are the only part that remain on the floor.

MUMMY: Grrrrr.

CAPTION: nah…they ain’t scary.
It looks like a toilet paper monster.

CAPTION: Yeah, I agree.

  1. Close up of the Mummy’s face, with panicked eyes.

MUMMY: GULP.

CAPTION: Guys, I think I’ve got it.

  1. Blank panel. SFX POP

#12

PAGE SEVEN – SIX PANELS

PANEL ONE
The Golem begins to walk away (page right), closely followed by Jasper. Ruby is putting coal that they chipped away into the coal sack, Benjamin turns his head to Ruby.

BENJAMIN: What are you doing?

RUBY: Killing two birds with one chunk of coal.
(LINK): You do remember why your mum sent us?

PANEL TWO
The Golem leads the kids out of the mine through an entrance so overgrown that it would be hidden to the casual observer. The kids are squinting from the daylight. Out of the gloom, the Golem is clearly not quite human.

GOLEM: This way, children. You will no doubt require refreshments.

JASPER: Have you got Dr Pepper, mister?

BENJAMIN: We should head back. it’s a long walk home from here.

PANEL THREE
The Golem points to the nearby cottage completely overgrown with brambles and ivy, sitting on the edge of a copse. Benjamin and Jasper look in the direction of the cottage, while Ruby aims her cell phone at the Golem.

GOLEM: My cottage is just here. Rest a while after your efforts.

JASPER: Just a little while, Benji?

BENJAMIN: It’s Benjamin.
(LINK): I suppose a short rest won’t hurt.

PANEL FOUR
The Golem walks towards the cottage, closely followed by Jasper. Ruby stays put, and has grabbed Benjamin’s arm to hold him back.

RUBY: That doesn’t look like coal dust to me.
(LINK): And who the hell wouldn’t notice a chunk of missing leg?

BENJAMIN: What do you mean?

PANEL FIVE
Ruby shows Benjamin a zoomed-in photo of the Golem’s damaged thigh on her phone.

RUBY: I don’t think he’s human.

BENJAMIN: Now who’s talking like a prize clown?

PANEL SIX
The group has reached the cottage, and the Golem opens the front door. Jasper is beside the Golem. The other two are a couple of steps behind.

JASPER: Cool cottage.

GOLEM: Please. Enter and make yourselves comfortable.


#13

Wait, if you’re doing this for October, what are you doing for NaNoWriMo next month? :slight_smile:


#14

Ha! Good point.

Well, I’ve got a TV pilot and a radio drama I want to finish before the BBC Writersroom submissions window ends (usually early January), and a short story to finish before the Writers of the Future 2019 Q1 deadline at the end of this year. Around 30,000 words. No pressure.


#15

PAGE EIGHT: CAMP PELLUCID. EXT. NIGHT

CAPTION: What about a Fish creature?

  1. The Mummy has now turned into a Creature from the black lagoon type monster, with fish gills on his neck and has landed on it’s back with a heavy thump. SFX THUD

CAPTION: Fish?

  1. Creature’s POV looking up and its webbed clawed hands.

CAPTION: Yeah, my dad made me watch this documentary once…so boring.

CAPTION: More than this?

CAPTION: Shut up, Jack.

  1. The creature is not on his hands a knees, about to get up. He looks furious and is salivating like he has had enough.

CAPTION: Anyway, this submarine went deeper than anything else and there were all these ugly fish that no one had ever seen before.
So, what if a Big one came to the surface and started eating people?

  1. Close up of the creature’s face looking panicked.

CAPTION: Yeah, but…


#16

PAGE EIGHT – SIX PANELS

PANEL ONE
All three kids are looking around the interior of the cottage: the front door leads directly to the cramped kitchen-diner of a simple, old cottage that has been unused for a century. Unseen by the kids, the Golem is locking the door (big old key job).

BENJAMIN: You haven’t decorated in a while, then?

RUBY: If by "a while” you mean like ever.

PANEL TWO
The Golem bends the large key in one hand, while the kids watch stunned.

GOLEM: I AM SORRY, BUT I MUST CONSUME YOUR BLOOD.

RUBY: What are you?

PANEL THREE
The Golem traps the wide-eyed kids in a corner of the kitchen.

GOLEM: I AM A JOKE.

BENJAMIN: I hope you mean you’re playing a joke.

GOLEM: I MEAM THAT I WAS BORN AS A JOKE.

PANEL FOUR
Flashback. Mid-day. An early twentieth-century MINER #1, mallet and chisel in hand, stands back to admire the man-sized, man-shaped statue he has carved, in an angular way, from a seam of coal just inside the entrance to a mine. A few other MINERS are gathered, holding flagons of ale.

CAPTION: MY CREATOR CARVED ME FROM THE BLACK ROCK AS A DRUNKEN PRANK.

MINER #2: That’s lovely, Gar. Now drink your ale – it’s time to get back to work.

MINER #1: Let’s see the Coblynau steal our tools now.
(LINK): I’ll finish you later.

PANEL FIVE
Flashback. Night. At the mine entrance, By candlelight, Miner #1 writes on a piece of paper in Hebrew. A large book containing Hebrew symbols is open next to him, along with a flagon of ale. The miner’s DAUGHTER stands watching.

CAPTION: HIS ANCESTORS CAME TO THIS LAND FROM PRAGUE. THEY KNEW NOMENCLATURE.

DAUGHTER: Mam says you should come home for supper, Tad.

MINER #1: Go home, girl. I’ll have my fun first.

PANEL SIX
Flashback. Miner #1 inserts the rolled-up piece of paper into the Golem’s ear. His daughter watches with fascination.

CAPTION: THE NOMENCLATURE MY CREATOR USED IMBUED ME KNOWLEDGE HE WOULD LATER RUE.


#17

A reference pic on mine guardians that was influential in creating this story…

image


#18

PAGE NINE – SIX PANELS

PANEL ONE
Flashback. The Golem stands transfixed by the miner’s daughter as she walks away. Miner #1 stands beside the creature frowning at it watching his daughter.

CAPTION: I WAS BUT A NEWBORN, YET I RECOGNISED BEAUTY THE MOMENT MY EYES GAZED UPON HER.

MINER #1: You are to guard the mine and protect my family.

PANEL TWO
Flashback. The Golem stands by the door of the same kitchen-diner of the cottage we have already seen, but when it was in a good state of repair. Present are Miner #1, his wife, daughter and son, and the Golem. The Golem is staring at the daughter.

MINER’S WIFE: For God’s sake Gareth, why must you bring that unholy abhorrence into the house?

PANEL THREE
Flashback. The Golem takes a step towards the daughter.

CAPTION: I WAS NATURALLY DRAWN TO THAT BEAUTY.

DAUGHTER: Make it stop.
(LINK): I don’t like the way that ugly thing looks at me.

PANEL four
Flashback. Miner #1 stands before the Golem, pointing to the door.

MINER #1: You are to stand guard outside the mine entrance.

PANEL FIVE
The Golem reaches the door and looks to the side where there is a full-length mirror.

NO DIALOGUE

PANEL SIX
Flashback. The Golem looks at himself in the mirror.

CAPTION: ONCE I WITNESSED MY APPEARANCE, I REALISED THAT MY CREATOR HAD MOCKED ME FROM THE BEGINNING.


#19

PAGE NINE: CAMP PELLUCID. EXT. NIGHT

  1. The creature has his hands around his own neck and is panicking because he cannot breathe.

CAPTION: …if he’s from the sea, he ain’t gonna be able to breath our air.
He wouldn’t be used to our air pressure and he is not a mutant.

  1. The creature is now rolling on the floor panicking holding his neck.

CAPTION: How do you know?
The could have been a global conspiracy to dump ooze into the seas.

CAPTION: Yeah, like that would ever happen.

  1. The Creature with his cheeks bloated and is turning blue has one hand on his neck and his
    thumping his clawed fist on the ground.

CAPTION: This is stupid.
The creature is stupid.

  1. The creature, face blue like he is about to pass out is now on both his knees now facing “us”, both
    hands around his neck and frantically nodding YES in our direction.

CAPTION: Look, let’s start again, shall we?

  1. Blank panel. SFX POP

CAPTION: Let’s go classic…


#20

PAGE TEN: CAMP PELLUCID. EXT. NIGHT

  1. The creature has now turned into a machete wielding manic wearing an old school 1959 ice hockey goalie mask. He looks like a hulking brute wearing a boilersuit. He looks furious clenching his fist with his free hand. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Goaltender_mask

CAPTION: …maybe he is a machete wielding manic.
Otherwise we are gonna be here all night deciding.

  1. Close up of the clenched fist

CAPTION: Agreed.

  1. The maniac is now powering his way through the wooded undergrowth towards “us”. Machete in one hand and leaning on large tree branches as he comes at us.

CAPTION: So, how did this one die?

  1. Stopped in his tracks the maniac is scratching his head, looking confused.

SETH: I dunno…extreme Toxicodendron diversilobum.

  1. Cut back to Jack and Chris at the campfire looking confused.

CHRIS: Toxidrundrum diverve…wha?

JACK: What the heck is that?

  1. Extreme close up of the maniac’s panicked eyes beneath the mask.

CAPTION: You guys are so dense…it’s Poison oak rash.