Crisis Weekly #7, in which we catch back up with the school shooting survivor, who has since joined a budding new teenager superhero team…!
Crisis Weekly #8, which I personally have been hotly anticipating, the origin of Bloodwynd! And Martian Manhunter and President Firehawk battle Man-Bats! This one’s sixteen script pages, as I’m not sure I’ll have time to write another script next week, mini family reunion next weekend and all…!
I’m sorry I fell behind in reading these. Work, family life, etc etc.
I can’t tell you how much I’ve been craving an action set piece since your Crisis began. The dialogue is believable, solid, but I also want to see some punching, destruction of public property, splash pages. Fire. Police sirens. Etc etc.etc.
Which is why “the fighting continues” is so hard to endure. I get wanting to leave it to the artist’s imagination…but this is an overkill.
And finally, since J’onn Is a telepath…couldn’t this conversation be done in Rielly’s head? Giving more of a balance between dialogue and action?
I’m not trying to shit on this. When something doesn’t work for me, I feel obliged to mention it. I’m not in search and destroy mode, I promise. I hope I didn’t go overboard.
The flashback sequence is masterful. There’s an operatic, 2001 vibe going on in the opening scene. I like your secret origin. I love the pre-Super man concept. This last entry is the strongest yet…I just cant stand the repetition, the lack of detail in this battle. Yes, it’s a pithy dust-up compared to the fighting we’re going to get…
…but it does a disservice to your descriptive writing. It lessens the impact. Dulls the blade, turns down the heat, whatever metaphor you fancy.
This does make me want to re-read and re-evaluate the Bloodwynd/Guy episode. Thinking if Bloodwynd is truly first…no wonder he hates guys like guy. That Johnny come lately super-phoney!
I am enjoying this, Tony, I just hate the repetition. Hope you don’t feel beat-up.
I wrote that sequence with an artist in mind, not a reader. The point is that the specific elements of the fight don’t matter, but that the visual element itself does. These were White Martians pretending to be acolyte Man-Bats. The few beats where there’s no dialogue, where Martian Manhunter and Firehawk are concentrating on the fight, are indications that this is a long-slog effort that occasionally tasks them. But mostly I wanted to change the idea that superheroes engage in conversation with the villains during a fight, and not each other. It’s like being in a trench with your buddy. And also, I indicate that this is an empty chamber they’re visiting. I didn’t want this to be a media spectacle. That’s a beat for another installment.
You are free to have whatever reaction you want. Presumably you caught up with several weeks. I’ve always found that when I read several scripts at a time, my patience with stuff that doesn’t read the way I’d like flags. Really, I’m just happy you’re reading. I originally hoped I could garner more interest with this project, but that hasn’t been the case, so it’s become more of an exercise, as always.
Your feedback about how the chamber sequence reads has been noted. There probably won’t be more material like that.
Glad there’s no hard feelings
And I deleted the more regrettable parts of my critique. Just fyi.
Crisis Weekly #9, in which several huge bombshells are dropped, including who is working with the White Martians, someone who is a White Martian, and Bloodwynd’s secret! Another huge installment that is huge, a doube-sized, sixteen script page spectacular!
Crisis Weekly #10, in which the teen team Crisis Compact gets around to hitting something, and a huge secret is teased. I just love dropping huge secrets in this thing! And the best part is misdirection! Of course!
Crisis Weekly #11, in which apparently one hero falls, and another rises. And Man-Bats! Lots and lots of Man-Bats! Again!
Crisis Weekly #12, in which President Firehawk finally has her dramatic confrontation with Karma, in the midst of the State of the Union address!
Crisis Weekly #13, in which I finally play in the sandbox with Boxer, sort of my variation on Green Lanterns and Darkstars, and we advance toward the final countdown. The light at the end of the tunnel is near! Only eight more installments to go!
Crisis Weekly #14, in which the Caballero has his villainous monologue. One of those scripts I was wondering how it was going to develop, but then it all just clicked.
Crisis Weekly #15, with a can’t-miss twist at the end (hint: if this is indeed a “Crisis on Infinite Earths” story, you might now realize how that second phrase comes into play).
Crisis Weekly #16, in which Jack Ryder is inevitably revealed to be the Creeper, and also a lovely stroll for Bulletproof and a few friends.
Crisis Weekly #17 and #18 now up. If you were reading previously (cough @Hazardpay) and wondering if there was something worth coming back for, or haven’t really been paying attention and wondered if there was anything worth fussing about, I hope these two entries are worth some curiosity. Only three entries left to go!
Crisis Weekly #19, in which a woman weighs in on history over the course of eight decades. I get that I don’t really have readers here at this point, but this turned out to be a personal favorite.
Crisis Weekly #20, in which I hope I’ve done enough for you to care about Bloodwynd…
I’m still alive. I have fallen way behind on the installments of your story. I’m spread thin between home life, work, AND MY TOP SECRET, SUPER COLOSSAL PROJECT. ONE THAT WILL CHANGE THE COURSE OF HUMAN HISTORY…(Nah. I can’t lie. I’m writing a web comic.)
just working my way through them. Enjoying the experience
(Sounds excellent. Good luck! You can find the final installment on the blog. No link here.)