Here is the breakdown I use for my critiques.
(+)= I like it.
(-)= Not a fan.
(?)= I don’t understand.
“RED SON - The Greenhouse Effect”
(+) = Writing is clean and story is easy to follow.
(+) = Nailed Sinestro’s character.
(+) = Snuck in the basic set up of “RED SON”. Without doing so, I think an uninformed reader could wonder where the story was going.
NOTE: It made me want to go read it.
(+) = John Stewart “voice” was right-on. I laughed out loud at some of his comments.
(+) = Liked the little “nuances”, facial expressions and gestures. Finding a balance in the writing can be hard.
(-) = As a person that started out writing screenplays, I have a tendency to avoid phrasing such as “…he/she sees” or “…he/she is”.
“…Sinestro is tossing…”
“…John is catching…”
“…John and Sinestro are flying…”
I’m not saying it’s wrong for comic book writing…or screenwriting for that matter. My understanding/feeling is that it can “take the reader out of the story”. Changing things up can be good.
I really enjoyed the story. Thanks for the reading.