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The Making of Millarworld Annual 2016 Mindys ABC's Full Script and Art


#1

Hey folks I promised a while back that I would post the whole script here along with some making of and behind the scenes stuff.

So below is the full script plus some early layouts and character sketch’s that @ozguryildirim put together.

The real standout thing here is that English is not Ozgur’s first language and the way he interpreted my script was spot on.

Any feedback insights are welcome.
You can follow me here on Twitter @abnettmark

FAO Mark Millar

millarworldannual@gmail.com.

Submission to MillarWorld Contest

HIT-GIRL solo adventure set during the Kick Ass trades (4 pages)

MINDYS ABC’S

Script
by Mark Abnett (pen name)

Millarworld board name: markabnett

Quick synopsis

Mindy’s ABC’s. Mindy attempts to retrieve Big Daddy’s Mask from a criminal
auction whilst reciting her ABC’s of breaching and eliminating a room.

4 pages

SECOND DRAUGHT JANUARY 7TH 2016

Page One

Panel 1-Internal.
Big Daddys’ Hideout

TITLE: MINDYS ABC’S, A HIT-GIRL STORY

Words : Mark Abnett

Art: Ozgur Yildirim

Hit-Girl created by Mark Millar and John Romita Jnr

Flashback

Open on Mindy aged 10 ¼ lying in the foreground on her stomach reading what looks to be a Children’s book (Hence Mindy’s ABC’s)
She has a grin on her face, pigtailed hair and legs crossed in the air behind her.
Big Baddy is training in background in sweat pants and a tank top with a punching dummy (see Appendix for reference).

NARRATION
BOX: A is for ALPHA the man at the top

Letterer
can utilise a bit of license here with each letter of the alphabet standing out
perhaps using a military style font/ stencil for each letter of the alphabet.

Colouring/Pencils
for this panel should reflect that of a flash back and different from the present
day panels.

Panel 2
External Roof Top

Present day

Close up front on of 15 year old Mindy’s face in full Hit Girl costume peering through binoculars showing the reflection of a large warehouse window where a man stands at a podium auction style. Behind him are various weapons, artillery, large gas cylinder and fuel drums which are being auctioned off. Beside him is a small closed box which is up for auction next.

In front of him about 10-15 various gang heads mafia, yakuza, Russian mob, all sorts of people that Hit Girl and Big Daddy may of crossed paths with over the years.

This panel can be predominantly the binoculars and reflection they key here is to set the scene for the rest of the story.

NARRATION BOX: B is for BRIDGE the path I must cross.

Panel 3
External Roof Top

Split panel Showing Hit Girl and her thought process. Shot of her concentrating figuring out how to clear the room. Beside her a visual representation of a floor plan identifying entrance and exits the number of men in the room her target next to the podium. Blue Print Style

NARRATION BOX: C is for CLEAR the way I must take

Panel 4
Interior Auction warehouse

SFX: BZZZZZHHH!

Shot looking up wards from around the waist of the collected gang bosses in the room. The ceiling lights have shattered plunging the room into darkness. The bosses look up with expressions of confusion and worry on their faces

NARRATION BOX: D is for DARKNESS, My friend keeps me safe

Panel 5
Interior Auction warehouse

SFX: KABOOM!!!

The main
door into the room explodes. The gang heads shield their eyes and cover themselves from exploding debris flying through the room. Some have started to draw guns from their holsters and are focused on the door for whats to come next

NARRATION BOX E is my ELEMENT the one of Surprise

Page Two

Panel 1
Interior Auction warehouse

Hit Girl bursts through a skylight in the ceiling catching all of guard taking out 2 men driving her sword through their skulls. She has a bow staff on her back and other knives and weapons strapped to her sides

NARRATION BOX F is for FAKE OUT the thing that’s most fun

Panel 2
Interior Auction warehouse

Hero pose of Hit Girl holding her bo staff and Uzi in the middle of the room eyeing up the auctioneer at the head of the room. A grin and look of determination on her face. She’s going to have fun with this.

NARRATION BOX G is my GOAL. Above all number one.

Panel 3
Interior Auction warehouse

Hit Girl heads towards her target the Auctioneer who dives to the ground across the stage as her bullets riddle the aforementioned gas cylinders and petrol drums behind him. He was never the target for those shots.

NARRATION BOX H is for HAZARDS. Make use of surrounds

Panel 4
Interior Auction warehouse

Hit Girls thrust the bow staff into the auctioneer’s throat with enough force to choke him and take him out of play

NARRATION BOX I INCAPACITATE, The target goes down.

Panel 5
-Internal. Big Daddys’ Hideout

Flashback

Shot of Big Daddy pointing out the joints on the training dummy he was beating on in the first panel. Mindy listens attentively smiling enthusiastically. This is one of those weird daddy daughter moments that they have together.

NARRATION BOX J are JOINTS to soften them up. Take them out quickly or else you’ll get Stuck

Page Three

Splash
Page

Panel 1
Interior Auction warehouse

Full-page looking down showing Hit Girl move around the room shooting and cutting her way through the remaining Gang heads. Each move is specific to the narration and helps her focus on what to do next. See the Appendix for some Jaimie McKelvie Art from Young Avengers which give you an idea of what we are after here.

Each Narration box will be along side each move and in alphabetical order moving from the top left corner of the
page clockwise.

Zoom into each conflict point showing the brutal damage she does with each move

We also need to see the fuel tanks and gas leaking on the floor which she shot bullets into earlier. Everyone in
the room will be dead except for the auctioneer.

NARRATION
BOX KNEE

              Smashes Knee caps with bow staff

NARRATION
BOX LEG

              Slices hamstring blade

NARRATION
BOX MEDULA , the Brain for the simple

              Shatters Skull gun fire to head

NARRATION
BOX NOSE

              Flat palm to face driving sceptum into brain

NARRATION
BOX ORIFICE

              Grenade shoved into mouth

NARRATION
BOX PUPIL

              Eyes taken out with two finger jab

NARRATION
BOX QUADRATUS to Cripple

              2 blades driven into back of mob boss , See appendix for quadratus

NARRATION
BOX RECTUM and SCROTUM. Men cant live without

              Machete straight between the legs

NARRATION
BOX The TONGUE tells no tales once it’s ripped out

              Hit Girl hopping on top of mobster and ripping his tongue out from his mouth

Page Four

Panel 1
Interior Auction warehouse

Hit Girl still with a grin on her face clicks a detonator causing all the auctioned items to go up in flames fueled even more so by the leaking fuel she let loose earlier

SFX: KABOOM!!!

NARRATION BOX U. UNVEIL your Final Surprise

Panel 2
Interior Auction warehouse

Hit Girl Stands over the Auctioneer who is begging with her and holds the box that was up for auction up towards her.

Panel 3
Interior Auction warehouse

Hit Girl puts a bullet through his head

NARRATION BOX Then VANQUISH your foes before trouble arrives

Panel 4
Interior Auction warehouse

Looking over and down Hit Girls shoulder. The box is open and Hit Girl holds Big Daddy’s mask which was up for auction as a sort of Trophy

NARRATION BOX WRAP it up quickly. Your almost through.

Panel 5
Interior Auction warehouse/ Big Daddys’ Hideout

Split panel of 15 year old Hit Girl with tears in her eyes holding her fathers mask beside flashback of Mindy and Big Daddy hugging in the same setting as Panels 1 page 1 and page 2 panel 5

NARRATION BOX XY and Z always brings me to you.
With Big Daddy by your side there’s nothing we cant do.

HIT GIRL NARRATION I love you Daddy

END

Appendix

Page 1

Panel 1

MMA Dummy
Page 3

Splash page
reference example

Page 3

The Quadratus lumborum is a muscle of the posterior abdominal wall. It is the
deepest abdominal muscle and commonly referred to as a back muscle.

Ozgurs initial Character sketch’s

rough layouts


So you maybe wondering “Hey what happened to page 3?” Well that is the a case of people with a hell of lot more experience than me making the right decision for the annual.

You don’t really want the second to last page of an annual to be a splash page.
It breaks up the flow and ruins the pacing of the story and the book as a whole.

First round of pencils

Final Pass


Here are the winners of the Millarworld Talent Search
Millarworld Annual 2017 - Writer Submission Thread
Millarworld Annual 2017 - Writer Submission Thread
#2

That is great!

Thank you for sharing.


#3

no problem.
I got a bit of interesting feedback that It was a lazy story so I wanted to show a bit of work was put into it!


#4

There was nothing lazy about it! I enjoyed it a lot.

Your “behind the curtain” is very informative and fascinating.


#5

It was a fantastic story. It’s usually the ones that seem the simplest that take the most work. I think one of the most import skills in this trade is learning what feedback is constructive criticism that should be considered and what feedback is sour grapes that should be ignored. :wink:


#6

Agree completley Ronnie. That goes for anything in life. I like to think I’m thick skinned enough to take on board any criticism. Ironically since I wrote this in September last year ( with some spelling revisions in January) I have had more than enough time to tear it to shreds and regret decisions in every single panel!

But hey sometimes you’ve got to just …“let it go” :stuck_out_tongue:


#7

I say what I said as someone who entered a script for the Hit Girl story and lost out to you. :wink:

I loved yours and thought it really boiled down the essence of the the character and told a new story in four pages.


#8

Okay, show of hands.

Who here still thinks there is anything “easy” about this “making funny books” business.

Hands? Hands?

Didn’t think so.


#9

I kinda find it easy…but that’s just me! :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:


#10

Stop showing off Garvey…It’s not big and it’s not clever :wink:


#11

the more i eat the bigger i get…the more i read, cleverer and hairier my palms get…


#12

This is SPECTACULAR MAN! Thanks so much for sharing.


#13

Wow! ! Thanks for sharing!


#14

Wow! It looks like a great story to me. Don’t know why someone would think it was “lazy”. Thanks for sharing! :smiley:


#15

I think most people calling it lazy are just kicking themselves for not coming up with such a simple yet effective concept. You’re trying to tell a story, why complicate that more than you need to. It is very clever, and the word lazy certainly never crossed my mind when I read it.


Millarworld Talent Search 2016
#16

This is incredible. It’s always fascinating to me to see the inner workings behind an artist and a writers way in making comics. This one in particular is no different. I applaud you Mark for coming up with such a simple yet effective story to tell with our ever so loving rear kicking heroine as well as ozgur’s amazing art style. This has definitely been a learning experience for me and hope to see more your writing in the future. Thanks again for sharing your script and ozgurs rough layouts with us.


#17

Which is a good message because that’s what Mark Millar does so well.


#18

That is the brilliance of Mr. Millar. He finds a simple concept and crafts a very compelling and meaningful story around it. He’s a constant reminder for me that you can successfully tell a great story without making it complicated like so many people try to do these days.


#19

Dude, this is awesome! Congrats!


#20

I’m not trying to sound rude here. Get over it. Move on. You wrote a short that was good enough to get accepted. Put it behind you and look forward to the next project. You need to have a short term memory to be a long term writer.

Allowing every disgruntled person online to ruffle your feathers will inhibit your creativity. They’re trying to lower your creative vibration by attacking you.

Sure, it wasn’t perfect, but you know what it was? It was good enough to win and get people talking about you.

Stop listening to them. Write for yourself.