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One Page Scripts for Practicing Drawing Pages


#1

Any writers out there interested in throwing up one page scripts - or one page from a longer script you are working on? I am looking to practice working on the flow of a page, not so much working on polished drawings. It would be rough thumbnail sketches, with focus on overall composition. Ultimately, I am looking to draw my own comics, but think it would be beneficial to be castigated by others for my narrow interpretation of their words, so that I can apply to my own work. :slight_smile:

It would also be practicing working on the conversation between the artist and the writer. Artist: “Can I try this with one less panel? Are you flexible with the layout?” Writer: “No, because…” Artist: “What are you trying to convey in this panel?” Writer: “This panel is missing the point.” Again, so that I ask more questions of myself while working.

*All artists welcome to draw same pages - would be very educational to see how other artists approach same pages. And all (not just writer) welcome to throw in their two cents on flow of panels, etc.

Thanks!!


#2

Well. Only since you asked so nicely
It’s a 5 page story from a sorta Future Shock type story.

The Ruff Job
by MARK ABNETT
Issue: 1
ONE (4 panels)
As we have never worked together, a few of the usual caveats.
I tend to write heavy scripts, occasionally going as far as suggesting
compositions and framing advice.
I do this for two reasons.

  1. To ensure there is a solution. I don’t mind if you go a different way, but me doing this ensures that I know there’s one way you can do it and I’m not asking for anything impossible.
  2. To give you as much information as I can about the content of the
    story and whats important in it. I don’t care about the specific
    execution, but I do care about the story’s emotional content coming
    across
    In saying that forget emotion this is humour. Basically think Ennis/
    Dillon Preacher levels of humour. Go as far as you want, change what you
    want. If you want to add more humour in the background or have any
    suggestions let me know.

Panel 1: INTERIOR VAN LOW ANGLE. We look up from the floor at the back of a van to see 4 armed men wearing loose fitting cleaning uniforms and futuristic headsets. Rifles across their laps. They are looking at a holographic projection of a bank layout being projected from a device on the floor in the centre of them

  1. THUG ONE: Right. We’ve been over it a thousand times. In and out, no muss, no fuss and the credits are ours

Panel 2: OVER THE SHOULDER INTERIOR of the lead thug looking across at the man opposite him

  1. THUG ONE: Joncy. Your new at this so keep your mouth shut and your wits about you. Your just here to make up the numbers and help us put the fear into them!

Panel 3: TIGHT SHOT INTERIOR of the men with their right hands touching their headsets which are all in different stages of producing holographic masks, A clown (JONCY), a cowboy, spaceman and a gorilla. (or what ever you prefer drawing)

  1. THUG ONE: Heads up boys

Panel 4: EXTERIOR REAR OF VAN Big action shot. They burst out the back of the van, guns ready

Hope it helps.


#3

Haha! Thanks! Holographic projections in the first one. Yikes. (One of the types of challenge I was looking for though. :smile:)

I will have something up for you to tear apart by tomorrow. Thanks!!


#4

I have one, and I think it have some space for you to change things and go creative on the layout, if you feel like it.

Hope it helps:

PAGE 1
PANEL 1
FATHER and SON, little kid. Both well dressed, in black, sad, going to a funeral.

FATHER: Your mother kept everything she loved in her top drawer. Go get something for her.

PANEL 2
The son comes up to the top drawer.

PANEL 3
It is high, but he opens it.

PANEL 4
Arms come out from the drawer and grab him gently.

PANEL 5
The mother’s arms pulls the son halfway into the drawer.

PANEL 6
The son fully enters the drawer.

PANEL 7
The drawer closes by itself.


#5

Thanks! I will give this one a try next week, (however, this time I will stick to pencil.)


#6

Alright - so here is the page. I will point out the obvious problems, so we can skip them and go for the larger picture problems.

1.)I tried pencil, couldn’t get the idea of holographic images to register. They did not. Tried to then add some ink to get them to register. Haha… it got worse. Then tried to use computer (using the free online software, and mouse - trying to draw with my finger. outcome is obvious… *However, after trying it, I think a legitimate electronic drawing pad and Photoshop would make that easy…)

2.) I learned - after committing to pen, that when you take a pic with your phone for reference, you get the mirror image. There are some continuity problems.

3.) Took pic with my phone to upload. It is rough anyway, so this may not matter, but a lot of detail is lost.

Alright - obvious cosmetic issues aside, here it is.


#7

Not bad at all!
That’s a pretty good interpretation of what I gave you. I seriously didn’t expect as much detail

Moving forward I would suggest you draw super loose layouts first then forward to the writer or editor for approval and then finish off as instructed with detail, but that’s just the way I like to work.

Positives

Love how you interpreted the holo masks being activated.
I was thinking more of a digital effect but as your using pen, it’s a nice workaround.

Critical stuff (please don’t take offense this are just basic stuff that will be asked)
Also after writing the below, I realized you noticed the continuity stuff also!
I like to look at pages blindly without influence from the artist to see if we see the same things.

Issues
Overall layout

I don’t think it works with panels 2/3 splitting the middle of the page.
I would have preferred the page be split into 6th each panel taking the full width of the page with panels 1 and 4 taking up 2/6 each

Panel one. Van interior is on a bit of angle, tilting right to left. Laying down perspective lines early on will help tighten up and straighten out.
We can also go tighter here. Zoom in and start with their shoulders the men at edges. this will create a bit more tension and a bit of claustrophobia before the robbery. This will help the impact of panel 4 with them bursting into space.

With a holo-map or any hologram, the colorist may do a bit of the heavy lifting with glow effects.
As these are pencils/inks you only need to do an outline and allow for room for a colorist to add their touch.

Panel 2 as per the previous panel no one has actually opened their mouths yet. looks a bit stilted. You should be able to convey without the speech bubble tails who is talking in this instance.

Panel 3 you went against your own continuity and had him place his hand on the left-hand side of his head where the ringleader had his holo-chip on his right.

Panel 4 the holo masks look solid except for the screen and it looks like you’ve got the activation switches back on the right-hand side so a continuity issue there again.

Panel 4 I don’t get the sense they are “bursting out the back of the van” as in the script. Needs to show a sense of motion everyone is pretty flat-footed.

Panel 4 the angle of the buildings in the street seems a bit off. Again may pay to pencil in some perspective lines before laying down detail.

Again just notes not a comment on your abilities as this is the only thing I’ve ever seen you draw.

Hope you find them helpful.


#8

Hey, thanks!! Much appreciation! All notes are spot on and very helpful.

Some also gave me some realizations about writing as well. For example, I had four panels that were - static, static, static, static - which ultimately gives the feel of resolution at the end of the page (no reason to turn to the next page.) Just with a slight change to panel 4, you then have static, static, static, kinetic - and now you need resolution - a reason to turn the page…

Also happy to read that the holo-map could have been passed off to colorist.

Thanks!


#9

This time I stuck to a looser sketch (only added ink as I do not have a scanner yet, and phone camera does not pick up pencil too well.)

I realized after the fact that I should have left an inch at the top for word bubble…

Thanks again! Enjoyed spending time in your page of script!


#10

Nailed it buddy. Much more dynamic.
Focusing on the important stuff. Good work.


#11

Appreciated. Thanks again for sharing your script and notes. :+1::slight_smile: