I had a couple minutes to look at your page samples. (Art tends to be much faster to review than scripts so you jumped the line a bit for me)
I think right now you’re trapped between a couple of influences. Your work tends to be a bit cartoony, but the figures and actions don’t read or flow like a cartoony style. Now I’m not sure if that’s a desire to be more “realistic” in your style than you are or if it’s a case of not pushing the cartoony style far enough.
If you’re looking to go more realistic:, I’d urge you to do some serious study work with anatomy, not just bones and muscles but how they all work together to inform the surface details you draw.
When I was in art school we’d do these great three step exercises.
- Draw a figure (in school this was always a live model, but there are tons of sites with reference models now)
- Tape a piece of tracing paper over the original drawing and draw the skeleton of the figure we’d just drawn.
- Pick a muscle group and use a smaller piece of tracing paper to lay that muscle on the bones of the skeleton.
I’m by far not perfect in anatomy, and still make tons of mistakes. BUT I’m light years ahead of where I’d likely be had I never learned to see what’s going on under the skin.
If you’re looking to go more cartoony: Everything from above still applies, but you’d also do yourself a HUGE favor by looking at animation books and animators. Richard Williams Animator’s Survival Kit and the Disney Illusion of Life books are particularly good.
You’re showing a willingness to put yourself out there, and a desire to push forward and acquire skills. And those are pretty much the two most important things when it comes to learning to draw. Everything else comes from the practice.