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"Guardian"... an ongoing comic project (Critiques are welcome)

This is a project that I’m working on currently and would like to get feedback on, This is an original story (as original as anything can be nowadays). I’ve scripted it and am working on penciling the pages. I’ll be posting all of the penciled pages, inked pages, and the script. Again, I’d appreciate any feedback on the writing or the art. Thanks.

The link to the script is https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B5uX8vrPjkQ0RzJIMUdNNktWYWE5WXZmanVabVlZYnBnTVIw/view?usp=sharing

And these are the pages so far…

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Pages look beautiful, lovely work.
The only think that doesn’t look right to me is the nose on side profile panel on page too.
But that me just being picky (pun intended, get it nose, picky?!) :smiley:

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Looking forward to seeing the inked pages (explodey main panel on first one in perticular).

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These pages a beautifully penciled

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That is some gorgeous artwork. I almost don’t want to see it inked!

I really like the fine detail work.

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Cool art! Sort of Trevor Hairsine-ish!

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The artwork looks great, Victor! Even if they aren’t in their final form, I can see how you’re efectively narrating with them.
As far as the script goes, I would recommend you to not write so many panels, especially in the first pages. Considering they are sort of the entrance for the reader, too many information at once can be a little too much. I think less could be more effective for the reading experience.

Keep up the good work! :smiley:

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Yeah, I can see that. I have to define the nose better, or I might just place the face entirely in shadow to help the mysterious nature of the character.

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Thanks.

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Thanks. Maybe like Esad Ribic? I think he just has pencils for most of the interior comic art he does. I might try that…

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Your style is a beautiful hybrid of Ribic and Gene Ha.

If you REALLY want to be experimental, you could do something Adam Kubert did (at dad Joe’s suggestion:

It was either an early issue of Ultimate X-Men or Wolverine but he draw some of the pages on corrugated cardboard box for some flashback scenes. It literally gave his art a completely different texture. It really gave the flashbacks a gritty, primative quality that contrasted well with Adam’s style.

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Thanks! Ribic has definitely been an inspiration on my style. I’m really loving his current arc on secret wars. So epic! I’m gonna have to look up that x-men issue. I’ve never heard of that technique before.

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The artwork is beautiful, well done man! You’ve got a career in the industry coming I’m sure! :smiley:

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Thanks man. I certainly hope so.

Looks beautiful. You have a bright future ahead of you, man.

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Well, thank you good sir. :smirk:

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I love your pencilling style. I’m not even convinced it needs inking, it’s so clear and the shading so atmospheric, it’s a shame you can’t just publish pencils.

Yeah just like that :smile:

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Sorry its been awhile since I’ve posted any work. The holidays really slowed down my progress, that being said I’m proud of these pages and would be grateful for any feedback. Thanks again.

On a side note I’ve been changing my script as I’ve been illustrating the pages so there are some differences between the script and the layout on the pages. I’ll post the updated script when I finish drawing all of the pages.

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Really like this. The three mini panels on the first page (with the hail of bullets) show some nice movement. Not sure about the overlapping of the bottom four (and the tiny one). I think it’s the hand / gun in the third overlapping back with the second and in turn being overlapped by the neck scarf from the fourth that’s not working for me. That’s a minor nit pick though that I wouldn’t notice if I wasn’t really closely studying / scrutinising the pages! :smile:

Edit: actually, now I look back at those four panels they do actually work with each one overlapping the previous. Nice bit of consistency. Good stuff!

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Thanks for the feedback. My goal for that page was to really take advantage of the fast pacing of the scene by doing the thin vertical panels, and then having the bottom four (plus the inset) essentially interrupt each other. I thought this would create a breakneck pace that showed how quickly this character’s descent into darkness happened. It does get busy though, something I’ll have to keep working on.