That was great to read – thanks for drawing it! I do think that, for others, it would be best to re-upload just art, page by page, so that everyone else can read it the way you intended. The other thing that hinders the reading experience a little is the lettering: the script-ish looking typeface and wonky balloons are a tad distracting from what we ought to be focusing on, which is the great story.
The other thing that struck me is, without having read the script in years (though I did read it more than once), and so having forgotten a lot of the detail, is how much I agree with my old comments. Basically the only panel that didn’t work for me was that last one, and I even thought that when I was looking at just the pictures (which I saw first, before reading your story properly). I’m not sure how to end your story, but I think even just a different picture of Jodie in blue hues looking sadly at the reader would be a more tonally consistent end.
I was a little harsh on the Darth Vader joke a few years ago, but it is true that I didn’t laugh at it this time either, and yet did laugh at the roof joke (even though I read it out of order! Still good banter, and still a great way to get into the deeper subjects).
I also really loved the framing – you’ve really done some nice stuff with the comics medium there, in addition to all the other great things in this story. I can’t remember, was that in your script? Definitely nice seeing it in reality, as it’s another stand-out aspect of your piece.
I don’t want to take anything away from anyone, but I really believe your piece would have been a great one for Millar to publish under his banner (and this can still be remedied – collected editions often have ancillary material, and there are theoretically more American Jesus books coming out in which will likely include Millar’s usual fan-art section in the back), and I thank you again for drawing it so that I could have the joy of reading it