Comics Creators

Finally posting art I made from rejected American Jesus contest script!

Hi! A long time ago, I wrote an American Jesus script for the contest here. I really enjoyed the process and decided to illustrate the whole 5 page comic myself. So… here it is! Hope you enjoy. I would love any honest feedback!

(*Edit: See below - original post was out of order. Thanks!)


See below*

Hey Mike,

That was great to read – thanks for drawing it! I do think that, for others, it would be best to re-upload just art, page by page, so that everyone else can read it the way you intended. The other thing that hinders the reading experience a little is the lettering: the script-ish looking typeface and wonky balloons are a tad distracting from what we ought to be focusing on, which is the great story.

The other thing that struck me is, without having read the script in years (though I did read it more than once), and so having forgotten a lot of the detail, is how much I agree with my old comments. Basically the only panel that didn’t work for me was that last one, and I even thought that when I was looking at just the pictures (which I saw first, before reading your story properly). I’m not sure how to end your story, but I think even just a different picture of Jodie in blue hues looking sadly at the reader would be a more tonally consistent end.

I was a little harsh on the Darth Vader joke a few years ago, but it is true that I didn’t laugh at it this time either, and yet did laugh at the roof joke (even though I read it out of order! Still good banter, and still a great way to get into the deeper subjects).

I also really loved the framing – you’ve really done some nice stuff with the comics medium there, in addition to all the other great things in this story. I can’t remember, was that in your script? Definitely nice seeing it in reality, as it’s another stand-out aspect of your piece.

I don’t want to take anything away from anyone, but I really believe your piece would have been a great one for Millar to publish under his banner (and this can still be remedied – collected editions often have ancillary material, and there are theoretically more American Jesus books coming out in which will likely include Millar’s usual fan-art section in the back), and I thank you again for drawing it so that I could have the joy of reading it :slight_smile:

Oh man, I really appreciate your comments. Re-reading it, I agree the end could be a little corny, but ultimately, i liked the visual of the small smile as the narration indicates that he’s begun to find his place in the world. I think you may be a bit over gracious in your praise that this could be published, as its really my first complete attempt at any ‘Sequential Art’, but I appreciate it none the less and it will feed my ego and make me strong. Haha. I am trying to either get back into working on drawing an original 23 pg comic that i have scripted and some pigs done, or finding something else to draw… Need an artist for anything?? :blush:


Maybe even if you made the colouring of that last panel blue rather than red? That would reduce the heavy-handedness I was feeling. I’m more working on films now, rather than comics – I find that I get better responses to my film scripts than my comic scripts. I’ll go back to comics one day, when I’ve made it in the films, like Kevin Smith did. Would love to buy a copy of your 23-page comic when it’s done – keep me posted!