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Choose your own adventure - You Are Mark Millar!


#1

It has been a long day writing… What do you want to do?

Keep writing?
Get drunk?
Investigate fox-like howling in the backyard?


#2

Fox-like howling, obviously. Come on, that’s not even a real choice.


#3

I can’t pick up a pen after 6pm. Definitely 2 and 3.

MM


#4

Finish Trouble: Volume 2.


#5

It’s 5am here and ironically the coyotes are howling in my yard, I’d have to go with 2.


#6

You get up to investigate the noise.

Your phone rings. ID says its famed artist/author Bryan Hitch!

Do you

Blank Hitchy and check out the mysterious howling?

Answer the phone?

Answer the phone, but pretend to be someone else for the lols?

Get drunk?


#7

WWGED?
(figure that one out)

Get Drunk.


#8

You get drunk.

Youre really sloshed now.

Do you

Go see that dun sound (hic)in the bacj part of the house bit?

Call Hitch and yell at him for never calling you any more?

Go to a local pub for more boozy booze yumyum?

Sleep it off?


#9

I never get drunk.

How very pedestrian,

Last night I chased a fox away from the house.

“City” runs out in three blocks!

I really should return Hitchy’s calls.


#10

Youve encountered a wild Miqque!

(dont use the phone, he whispers.

THEYRE listening…)

Keep this in mind and return to post 8!


#11

Throw the Master Ball!


#12

The ball explodes!!!

You come to in Matthew Vaughns officr pitching The Motherfucker: the Movie… How do you pitch it?

Its like Nemesis meets Catcher in the Rye…
Its like Superbad meets Reservoir dogs…
As a crossover with Spaceboy from Starlight…
Grab Vauhgn by the collar and yell ‘HOW DID I GET HERE’?


#13

Master Balls never fail.


#14

The ball fucking explodes, okay!

Return to post 12!


#15

So it wasn’t a Master Ball, it was a Voltorb in disguise…?


#16

The. Fucking. Ball. Explodes. Let. It. Go.

(Turn to post 12)


#17

I’m looking at my crotch being very, very angry with a couple of people.


#18

Yes, I’m agreeing with you. It exploded. Because it was a Voltorb.


#19

Grab him by the collar because, hey…how often do you get that chance?


#20

You grab Vaughn by the collar!

Suddenly his face looks different… Its a mask!

You tear it off to reveal…

Moe the crow from THE UNFUNNIES!

'FORGOT ABOUT US, DID YOU? WELL WE HAVENT FORGOTTEN YOU, MARK…

WHAT DO YOU DO?

Punch Moe in the beak!

Offer Moe a movie deal!

Run away!

Lie down and wait until the trip wears off…