32 replies to this topic

[Chris Fenton]

With my first child being due on Thursday I am starting to worry a little bit...

I am aware that there are a number of parents here at Millarworld so I am asking you for some advice. How do you survive the first two weeks? What did you or your partner find really beneficial, what was entirely pointless and not worth bothering with. What do you know now that you wish you had known then.

We are set (as far as we can make out) with the nursery, nappies, wipes, clothing pretty much everything you need to buy.
I think the wait now is starting to get to me.

[Steve Sensible]

I have no advice for you, but Charlie Brooker's column about being a new father made me laugh.

[Christian U]

With my first child being due on Thursday I am starting to worry a little bit...

I am aware that there are a number of parents here at Millarworld so I am asking you for some advice. How do you survive the first two weeks? What did you or your partner find really beneficial, what was entirely pointless and not worth bothering with. What do you know now that you wish you had known then.

We are set (as far as we can make out) with the nursery, nappies, wipes, clothing pretty much everything you need to buy.
I think the wait now is starting to get to me.

Ah, the first two weeks are a state of bliss, mate, don't worry about it.

It's after that that things get hard.

[garjones]

With my first child being due on Thursday I am starting to worry a little bit...

I am aware that there are a number of parents here at Millarworld so I am asking you for some advice. How do you survive the first two weeks? What did you or your partner find really beneficial, what was entirely pointless and not worth bothering with. What do you know now that you wish you had known then.

Your wife / partner willl be knackered, she's gone through a huge amount physically so you need to shoulder pretty much everything for a few days.

Everyone will give all sorts of small pieces of advice on things that worked with their kids. You will try them and most of them won't work because kids are different. Just because little Bobby fell asleep when they played him Napalm Death songs it doesn't mean yours will so you will try things out and then find out what works.

The only piece of advice I've seen everyone agree on was catch a nap when the baby does, they aren't going to follow a normal pattern so if you do and try and get your standard 8 hours a night and then get worken up 5 times you'll be very tired.

[Chris Fenton]

I might have to try the Napalm Death bit, thanks for the feedback.

Pretty much everybody I have spoken to up to this point said nap whenever baby is asleep. We have been fairly laid back throughout the pregnancy hopefully we can translate this across. Baby has had quite regular movement patterns in the womb which we have taken note of, we hope this may give us some idea of what his sleep patterns may be.

[Peter Singer]

What I found very helpful was putting the toddler in a (had to look for a translation so don't kill me) stroller and rock him to sleep in it.
The advantage: You can do it with one foot whilst sitting on a chair and reading a good book.

Also:
Put the kid in one of those ugly bags for sleeping instead of using bedsheets, it's just to prevent the child from suffocating accidentally, and though it may seem unnecessary I slept a whole lot better knowing the danger is out of the way. (Yes, got a little paranoid back then I confess)


And a piece of advice for your partner :
Sleep when your baby sleeps (yeah yeah,but it's true)
(and to that extend, why not scream when your baby screams, poop when you baby poops? ok that might not be so smart....)

And chill, the bomb drops when it drops, it'll happen eventually no need to shit ur pants about it.

[stephanie familiar]

What I found very helpful was putting the toddler in a (had to look for a translation so don't kill me) stroller and rock him to sleep in it.
The advantage: You can do it with one foot whilst sitting on a chair and reading a good book.

Also:
Put the kid in one of those ugly bags for sleeping instead of using bedsheets, it's just to prevent the child from suffocating accidentally, and though it may seem unnecessary I slept a whole lot better knowing the danger is out of the way. (Yes, got a little paranoid back then I confess)


And a piece of advice for your partner :
Sleep when your baby sleeps (yeah yeah,but it's true)
(and to that extend, why not scream when your baby screams, poop when you baby poops? ok that might not be so smart....)

And chill, the bomb drops when it drops, it'll happen eventually no need to shit ur pants about it.

i thought you were only 20 or something.

[stuperrins]

the first two weeks a whirl wind, its all very tiring and very emotional.
prepare yourself for the most tiring, stressful, yet at the same time most beautiful thing in the world.

[Chris Fenton]

We have a few of those grow bags and all kinds of things to put baby in to rock him to sleep.

[stuperrins]

also buy a cd of lullabys

Edited by stuperrins, 02 April 2012 - 09:31 PM.

[Arjan Dirkse]

With my first child being due on Thursday I am starting to worry a little bit...

I am aware that there are a number of parents here at Millarworld so I am asking you for some advice. How do you survive the first two weeks? What did you or your partner find really beneficial, what was entirely pointless and not worth bothering with. What do you know now that you wish you had known then.

We are set (as far as we can make out) with the nursery, nappies, wipes, clothing pretty much everything you need to buy.
I think the wait now is starting to get to me.

Isn't there always a gaggle of cooing women around to take care of baby matters? I think they sense there's a baby around from miles away and then converge upon it.

Congratulations, anyway. Try not to worry too much, most things will probably work out for themselves.

[Robert B]

Personally I remember the mother-in-law being more of a complication the first two weeks than the baby.

(Important note: I love my mother-in-law, but would have prefered some extra space those first two weeks)

[Will]

Best I can tell you is get sleep when you can and sleep in shifts if possible and this will be the challenging but so awesome there are no words in any language that can accurately describe just how awesome it is.

[Noel Luperon]

Yes, like Garjones said, you'll figure out a lot of it through trial and error. This will become even clearer with the second child.

Unless you have a hard stance for one or the other for whatever reason, do try to put and keep the baby on breast-milk. I know a lot of people who give up but do try. With my first one we "tricked" him, mom would manually milk herself, attach the baby, and as he lost patience I would drop some milk from a bottle on the breast for him to keep trying.

It's more practical and economical, and most importantly, gives mom a greater bond with the baby.

My firstborn also liked the "swaddle" a lot, basically, to be kept tight when sleeping. I'm assuming Peter Singer's recommendation is something similar. You can learn to tie the swaddle with a small-sized sheet; here's one of many instructionals on it:



And I guess I'll be the mean guy to say this, but up until month 3, the experience is not exactly blissful. The baby is mostly a sleeping, eating, crapping, crying machine. They don't start interacting and smiling and locking eyes with you until month 3; that's when the fun truly began for us with our boys. Your mileage may vary, of course.

Oh-- and breath through your mouth when changing diapers. It helps. And make sure t have a surface where you can comfortably stand to do it, it starts bothering your back after a while if the place is too low. And invest in a good baby bag for trips, that thing is a life saver.

[Mike Cooper]

I'd second what Noel's saying - its going to be hard work, and the rewards come later on.
My best advice is to relax as much as possible. Sleep when you can. Let other things like housework slide. If people offer to help, ask them to come round and do your dishes or something like that rather than try and look after the baby for you.
Remind yourself that people have been doing this since the dawn of time. The first few weeks are not the most important formative time in their life, so don't worry about much beyond the baby being fed and changed and sometimes happy. When they're not happy, its often for no good reason, so don't beat yourself up about it after checking the obvious poo-ey nappies and if they want feeding. I'd cry too if I was as physically incapable as a newborn infant. Be kind to yourselves and each other, because that word isn't in a newborn's vocabulary yet

[John Hendrick]

In 6 months time, you'll remember maybe 24 hours of the first 2 weeks.

It's a crazy, scary, unrelenting time of trial and error, sleep deprivation and constant concern.

It's also the best time of your life, relish it, chill the fuck out and go with the flow, you'll be grand,

Just remember now, your partner will be knackered, she'll have gone through a lot and will need you to help her out in loads of ways you've not even thunk of yet.

Be stern with in laws and well wishers, they're your family and you'll need time to get used to the new dynamic.

A visit here and there is fine but just be prepared to say no you're not coming in to a fair few people.

But seriously, it's amazing.

Congrats.

[garjones]

Yes, like Garjones said, you'll figure out a lot of it through trial and error. This will become even clearer with the second child.

Yup the second one makes it clearer. You do all the same things and they behave differently.Like most babies after about 6 months get very clingy to the people they see often (mum, dad, granny etc), my daughter did and most kids do, my son? Doesn't care, anyone can carry him.

[Peter Singer]

i thought you were only 20 or something.

Didn't stop my parents from dropping another one.

[Chris Fenton]

Personally I remember the mother-in-law being more of a complication the first two weeks than the baby.
(Important note: I love my mother-in-law, but would have prefered some extra space those first two weeks)

Be stern with in laws and well wishers, they're your family and you'll need time to get used to the new dynamic.

Both of our mothers have been given very strict instructions about the first two weeks. We don't mind drop ins but the first two weeks are for us.

However current events may mean that my mother in law will be a little more difficult to get rid of.

[Will]

In 6 months time, you'll remember maybe 24 hours of the first 2 weeks.

It's a crazy, scary, unrelenting time of trial and error, sleep deprivation and constant concern.

It's also the best time of your life, relish it, chill the fuck out and go with the flow, you'll be grand,

Just remember now, your partner will be knackered, she'll have gone through a lot and will need you to help her out in loads of ways you've not even thunk of yet.

Be stern with in laws and well wishers, they're your family and you'll need time to get used to the new dynamic.

A visit here and there is fine but just be prepared to say no you're not coming in to a fair few people.

But seriously, it's amazing.

Congrats.

Agree 100% with this. Particularly with being stern with everyone who wants to drop by. YOU take control of that, don't leave it to the mom.