210 replies to this topic

[al-x]

Hello:

Since the other thread closed, I'll start a new one.

This goes out to those in a relationship or want to be in one.

I met the Yale girl's sister the other day. She goes to Columbia,
(another Ivy League school) and is into engineering. What a
family. I am thinking about the tuition too... :-)

Anyway, that ship has sailed for me. It is on to other things and
other people.


Al...

[Todd Gross]

It is on to other things and
other people.

Anyone in particular?

[Stephen G]

As a young guy, married for over 5 years now...I'm pretty thrilled. I have been doing MUCH self-assessment in the last few weeks - as I am in intensive planning mode for the future (looking at doctorate work and other, very grown-up type things). And in self-assessment - I can safely say Anne and I are in the best place we've ever been. We have zero regrets in (young) marriage. We love each other, we love spending time together, we love coming home to one another after work, we love planning things to do together. Everything we do, we want to do together, with few exceptions (like me embracing my inner geek, and heading to a Con - she passes on that). We talk about this often - and are open enough to tell the other when we're not interested in doing something.

So - before the thread rabbit trails off into other things, I thought I'd interject that on in there. How are you other married folks doing?

See you all in a few pages .

[stuperrins]

i count myself very lucky to have had my girlfriend max in my life for the last three years, for a number of reasons. within hours of our first date i knew id be spending the rest of my life with her and our son was born on that 2nd anniversary of that first date

[al-x]

Anyone in particular?

Not right now... I know a few girls but no one seriously.

I heard that to have a friend, you should be a friend, so my
"philosophy" for lack of a better word, is if you want to have
a girlfriend, be a boyfriend, that is to say make yourself out
to be boyfriend material.

So I have some personal matters to attend to right now. I can
say that I am working on shedding some pounds for health
reasons primarily, then further down it is also to look better.

On a side note, I would like to get more input in this thread
from the females among us. That would be fun.


Al...

[Adam Balson]

As a young guy, married for over 5 years now...I'm pretty thrilled. I have been doing MUCH self-assessment in the last few weeks - as I am in intensive planning mode for the future (looking at doctorate work and other, very grown-up type things). And in self-assessment - I can safely say Anne and I are in the best place we've ever been. We have zero regrets in (young) marriage. We love each other, we love spending time together, we love coming home to one another after work, we love planning things to do together. Everything we do, we want to do together, with few exceptions (like me embracing my inner geek, and heading to a Con - she passes on that). We talk about this often - and are open enough to tell the other when we're not interested in doing something.

i count myself very lucky to have had my girlfriend max in my life for the last three years, for a number of reasons. within hours of our first date i knew id be spending the rest of my life with her and our son was born on that 2nd anniversary of that first date

Wow, both of you guys that's amazing! Congrats Stephen!

And Stu, that is a fantastic 2nd anniversary present.

[Tonycal]

So I went out on a date last week with this nice girl. We had a good dinner and talked for over an hour afterwards. I felt it went well. So I tried to go out again this last weekend, but she said she said she had her Dad's Bday to go to. She suggested sometime this week. So I texted her back saying "sure sometime this week will be good..just let me know."

This is one reason I hate dating again. I'm wondering if she will call or text me this weekend to do something. Me thinking about this reminds me of this rant from Wedding Crashers which is so true lol:

[Todd Gross]

Not right now... I know a few girls but no one seriously.

I heard that to have a friend, you should be a friend, so my
"philosophy" for lack of a better word, is if you want to have
a girlfriend, be a boyfriend, that is to say make yourself out
to be boyfriend material.

Sounds like a plan.

February 8 will the 10th (!) anniversay of when we first met. And this year, we will celebrate our 5th wedding anniversay.

[Christian U]

So I went out on a date last week with this nice girl. We had a good dinner and talked for over an hour afterwards. I felt it went well. So I tried to go out again this last weekend, but she said she said she had her Dad's Bday to go to. She suggested sometime this week. So I texted her back saying "sure sometime this week will be good..just let me know."

This is one reason I hate dating again. I'm wondering if she will call or text me this weekend to do something.

I don't think I've ever been on an actual date...

[David Meadows]

I don't think I've ever been on an actual date...

Wow, I'm glad you said that! I wanted to say it but I thought you would all think I was some kind of alien or something

So - before the thread rabbit trails off into other things, I thought I'd interject that on in there. How are you other married folks doing?

I'm not married but we have been together for about 21 years (one of the things about not having a wedding it that it's hard to pin down an exact anniversary -- or perhaps that's just our ages ).

Like you Stephen, we have things we like to do together and things we do separately. I think that's probably essential to making things work. You have to have the shared interests (otherwise, what'sthe point in spending time together at all?) but you can't be doing identical things 24/7, you would go insane. Well, speaking for me,not for you obviously.

So, for example, we like the same music but she isn't as obsessed about some bands as I am. So, when I go to the gig in Glasgow tomorrow I will be on my own. But there's a gig coming up in Newcastle and we will both go.

And we sit and read comics together but she wouldn't be caught dead posting on Millarworld, she's not geeky in that way (and I would freak out if I thought she was reading this part of my life )

Dammit my space bar is still sticking and it's driving me nuts

[Steve Sensible]

So, if neither of you went on dates with your partners, what did you do? Propose the first time you met?

[stuperrins]

Wow, both of you guys that's amazing! Congrats Stephen!

And Stu, that is a fantastic 2nd anniversary present.

thanks

[garjones]

I think I know what they mean though, asking someone out on a first formal date.

I've never really done that either.

[Steve Sensible]

So how did it work then? I'm genuinely curious...

[garjones]

So how did it work then? I'm genuinely curious...

The usual sequence would be to know them through work, college or wherever. Go to an arranged night out like the Christmas party, spend a lot of time flirting with them, cop off.

[Steve Sensible]

But then once you cop off, you don't just move in together. Presumably you go on dates.

[David Meadows]

So, if neither of you went on dates with your partners, what did you do? Propose the first time you met?

We worked at the same place and got to know each other there over several weeks. At the time we had regular Friday pub crawls after work, where we would all get drunk and moan about how crappy the place was (it was!). At some point, it seemed like a good idea to go home with Kathy after one of the sessions. It wasn't planned, it just seemed like a good idea at the time.

Maybe a pub crawl with the gang from work counts as a "date", but it never felt like one. Not one like you see on TV, anyway. I never actually "asked her out".

But then once you cop off, you don't just move in together. Presumably you go on dates.

I suppose, yes. I just never thought of it like that...

Edited by David Meadows, 28 January 2012 - 12:58 PM.

[Christian U]

But then once you cop off, you don't just move in together. Presumably you go on dates.

Not really. You just... do stuff together, I guess. The point of a date is, to me, finding out whether you're really interested in someone. For me, it was more like Gar described (or I met someone I didn't know and sort of hooked up) and then it was more or less directly clear that we were together.

I've never understood the idea of dating for like months but "not being exclusive", which, judging from TV, seems to be a common American thing.

[Steve Sensible]

I've never understood the idea of dating for like months but "not being exclusive", which, judging from TV, seems to be a common American thing.

I don't think it is. If I'd been dating someone for a few weeks, I'd hopefully be having sex with them by then (and if I wasn't then I would have pretty much given up on them), so if that person went on a date with someone else they certainly wouldn't hear from me again.

[Robert B]

My wife and I went to New Orleans for a week on our first "date".